My 14 year old son and my 12 year daughter argue constantly, what can I do?

Venecia - posted on 03/11/2009 ( 17 moms have responded )

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It doesn't matter what it is they bicker. It's driving me nuts. Advice anyone?

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Katy - posted on 03/13/2009

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Unfortunately your son is now a teenager and so the testoserone will start kicking in and your daughter isnt far off her teens so her hormones are probably already raging. Which basically means your going to just have to wait it out until they become calmer and more adult. I remember when I became a teen if a family member said anything to me I would bite there heads off, becuase I would think it was a personal dig at me. Then I started to meelow a bit and see the world differently and I stopped arguing so much. I think that is what you are going to have to do. Either that or stick them both in a sound proof room lol.

Kay - posted on 03/13/2009

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maybe if you sat them down,face to face,,and ask them too get it off their chest,,at each other,,after that,ask them what it is,their so hatefull to each other??have a good old talk it over,with you included,who know's..

Karin - posted on 03/11/2009

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My daughters are 12 and 10 they argue constantly also.  I have had numerous converstations with both of them about it.  I just keep reminding them that they will eventually need something from one another and that if they are mean to each other now, they might not be there to help when they need it most.  It works for the most part and least for a few days.

Becky - posted on 03/11/2009

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I have three teenagers, and for the most part that is about all they do. Then there are moments when they are like best friends. My advice... just buckle up and hang on for the ride. Enjoy it while you can - they will be grown up before you know it and you will miss all that bickering!  :)

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Liza - posted on 09/10/2012

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@Jody. You gave me a wonderful idea. You are correct that if they can't get along then how can they be rewarded to go play with friends. I have 2 younger sons (10 and 11). They argue, push, and sometimes fight. I find I have no peace at home. I have a dry erase board on my fridge. Every time they fight they will get an X. 3 strikes and they are done...no riding bikes with friends in the neighborhood on the weekends until they learn to get along. Thanks again.

User - posted on 03/14/2009

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If they get pocket money, start fining them for being involved. Don't get into who started it or what it was about just fine them. We charge them $1 an arguement it slows them right down. It is important to follow through though otherwise they will think it is funny, as with any discipline that is not followed through.

User - posted on 03/14/2009

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Sorry, all you can do is either get counseling, or become a referee and wait for them to grow up. And move out. Counseling wouldn't hurt if you are not afraid to try it.

Venecia - posted on 03/14/2009

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My son seems to think that I favor his sister in things. I just don't think he should be hitting his sister, because he's a male. At the same time my daughter shouldn't be hitting him either. I was actually thinking about family counseling. I can't accept that there's nothing I can do. I don't want them to hate each other. My daughter really picks at my son, taunting him, doing things behind my back. I'm just really at a lost to know what I should do.

Deborah - posted on 03/13/2009

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Quoting Venecia:

My 14 year old son and my 12 year daughter argue constantly, what can I do?

It doesn't matter what it is they bicker. It's driving me nuts. Advice anyone?



get them involved in separate activities or take a long hot bath it's the age thing nothing will help till they out grow it.

User - posted on 03/13/2009

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We tried two different things and both worked very well but you have to be diligent enforcing it -



1) My husband insisted that they say "darling" before they said the name of the other, everytime they said the name .



2) We sat them down at the table and told them they coud not get up until they had written 10 things they iked about the other.



Our children are 13, 12 and almost 10 and we have very little bickering or fighting any more.

Stacey - posted on 03/13/2009

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It's the same in my house, all four argue and it doesn't matter about what! I just keep reminding them that someday they are going to need each other and they better get along! I have tried to teach them when one starts the other needs to walk away, ha that has so far been a waste of breath!

Jody - posted on 03/12/2009

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I have a 10 year old and a 5 year old. The only time I get peace is when they are at school and I am at work. I don't allow them to go a play with other kids untill they can play together. I mean how can they play with other kids when all they do is fight. After about an hour they tire really hard to get along so they can go out. It seems to work for a short time.

User - posted on 03/11/2009

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hi ive got 3 girls the are always argue i just let them get on with it they soon get fed up the only time i step in is if they start fighting . you go in another room & ignor them even if they say MUMMMM i find kids hate bein ignored

Venecia - posted on 03/11/2009

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Shoot! I was hoping there was a pill they could take. (just joking)..mostly lol..seriously thanks for the help everyone. I guess I'll just resign myself to this song, until a new one starts playing.

Kathy - posted on 03/11/2009

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My kids are grown now. Mine argued all the time. Its what they do. I had mine sit on the sofa and put their arms around each other until I was tired. The more they argued the longer they had to sit there. They hated it! LOL!

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