my 14 yr old has a boyfriend and his mom does not want him to date

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Medic - posted on 04/28/2012

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He is not your child, hence there is not much you can do about it. I too am not sure what all you are looking for here seeing as your responses are catty and backtalkish. You have not offered up anymore details that might shed some more light on the situation.

Jodi - posted on 04/28/2012

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Well, exactly what sort of feedback are you looking for? Because so far, from what I have seen, every bit of feedback given here by mothers (i.e. that they are too young to date yet) has been knocked back?



And just so you know, you actually aren't coming across as that respectful of this mother's wishes.

Stifler's - posted on 04/28/2012

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I agree you could suggest they go on "dates" as a group with other friends. if the other mum won't let him date then you can't change her mind she's well within her rights to do what she thinks is best for her son. You could have a coffee with the mum or something and explain that not much is going to happen if they are all hanging out as a group.

Dove - posted on 04/28/2012

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WHAT kind of input are you looking for? You aren't offering anything helpful whatsoever. You are, however, making it look like you might be one of the 14 year old kids involved in this situation instead of a mother.

Jodi - posted on 04/28/2012

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No, actually, we never said that. But you came here asking for advice. You have received the advice of SEVERAL women and have done nothing but knock it back. Obviously there is a particular type of advice you are after. Or you are asking for validation of your views on this. So perhaps this question should read, only respond if you agree with me.

And if that is the case, you honestly aren't being respectful of this other mother's decisions about HER child. I hate to think, given your attitude here, how that is being conveyed to your child and her respect (or lack thereof) of the situation.

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Sarah - posted on 04/29/2012

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IMO 14 is too young to date. You may not agree with the other mother's position (or anyone else's on here) but you have to respect that he is her son and it is her decision to make. You can't change her mind nor should you really be getting involved in that either. That's a parenting decision, and just as you don't want people criticizing your decisions, I;m sure she doesn't want others criticizing hers. And, for the record, even "good" kids can sometimes get into situations they're unprepared for.

[deleted account]

Agreed and even I said that no one thought they were bad kids. But kids are kids and kids often dont' look beyond the moment. If group things are not allowed by the other mother, then yes you need to teach your daughter that you sometimes have to respect a parent's decision even if you don't agree with it.

Or were you looking for all of us to call her a crazy, paranoid witch who is spoiling your daughter's fun?

Sus - posted on 04/28/2012

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I understand respect.... I just wanted feedback from other parents in this situation...i
I do not feel that I need to TEACH my daughter to learn respect. relax

Jodi - posted on 04/28/2012

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I think 14 is also a bit too young to be "dating". Although I do agree with group outings for this age group - my 14 year old does that all the time (although he doesn't have a girlfriend he wants to date). BUT if this mother has said no, then YOU need to respect those wishes, and you also need to teach your daughter that not every family has the same rules and she needs to learn to respect that too.

Sus - posted on 04/28/2012

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there is no fighting going on and we are both protective...even the group outings have been shut down.

Dove - posted on 04/28/2012

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My cousin got pregnant at 14. It happens. Even with 'good kids', hormones are running high and they CAN and DO cave to temptation. No, certainly not all of them, but to me it is not worth the risk. Really, if they want to go to a movie maybe you can chaperone them and a couple of other friends.



Instead of fighting against this smart and protective mother maybe you could work with her so that these kids can still spend the time together that they want, but under the conditions that are acceptable to everyone.

[deleted account]

Then invite him as a family. Under no circumstances shoudl they be left alone. Temptation is mighty strong at 14. No one is suggesting they're not good kids but even teh best kid makes a mistake. Do you want a grandbaby by a boy who has absolutely no wherewithal to support a child? Is that truly fair to the baby?

[deleted account]

Good, at 14, theyr'e too young to date. At most they should hang out in groups of friends, well chaperoned.

Dove - posted on 04/28/2012

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So, the mom doesn't want her 14 year old dating? I see nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't want my 14 year old dating either.



Why are you frustrated? Just talk to your daughter about being friends with him and more can come in a few years if it is meant to be.

Sus - posted on 04/28/2012

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both are great kids ,private school, athletic and have known each other since they were 3...
a little frustrated.

Medic - posted on 04/28/2012

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Then you should respect the other moms wishes and talk to your daughter about that.

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