My 14 yr old son refusing to come home! Any advise?

Rachel - posted on 05/06/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




My 14 yr old son is refusing to come home he is staying with my mother but will not come home we have had some fights my son and I about the typical teenager attitude. Him not wanting to do chores or not listening to his parents. We were fighting everyday about school to where it was affecting my daughters/his little sisters. I had him pack 2 weeks worth of clothes to go to my mothers house to defuse our situation. Well that back fired and he now refuses to come home and our law here in Oroville Ca says that since I let him go to my mothers and he's in a safe place that they can not force him to come home. He feels now that I have kicked him out of our home and hates me for it and wont give me the time of day. I have explained to my son that I did not kick him out and I have been trying so much to get him to come back home! This has gone so far out of control where to I begin? My husband is not his real father but has always been there for him since before his first birthday. My son's biological father has been in prison his whole life and has never had a relationship with him. Until now that he is older. I have tried getting my son to counseling but refuses to go we do not get any help from his biological fathers side they just cause more confushion for my son. I am trying to get my son help that he needs yet our resources are so limited. My son plans on living with his biological father when he gets out of prison which is NOT a good idea because it well only be a matter of time before he goes back to prison and we do not want our son exposed to his life style! My youngest daughter now needs counseling because of all the fighting between her brother and I as well as her brother and father. Sheriffs have had to come out a few times but they tell me that there isn't much they can do??? If any of you that have gone through this or that are going through this please give advise I am open to any suggestions and everywhere I go or any phone calls I make its basically the same answer. We cant help unless he goes to juvannile hall making his counseling mandatory. which is very sad to me that we don't help this kids before the situation is completely out of hand! We need to step in way before things get this far to keep our families together!! Please if you know of anything I can do as his mother to help my son and so I can bring him where he belongs I would truly be thankful! Thank You


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/07/2014




Well, if the law says they cannot interfere, then start paying your mom support for your son.

This did not 'just start'. Not if his dad's been in prison his entire life, and you've not been getting him into counseling to handle that, not to mention the whole issue of when/how is he allowed to see his father's side of the family. The actions needed, now, to rehabilitate this situation are huge, because really it's something that should have been addressed from day one, rather than being allowed to escalate to the point at which you told him to pack his bags.

See, here's the reality. You told him to pack his bags and go to his grandmother's. You may have explained it more thoroughly than that...but he probably didn't listen, and in his mind, you 'kicked him out'.

Get yourself and family into counseling. See if you can't get a judge to order him to comply. Once he starts, and finds it helpful, he'll be more likely to participate. Until then, continue to let him know that you love him, and that you want to work things out.

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