My 14yr old came home high

Mari - posted on 11/25/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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About two weeks ago my son called me to ask me if he could stay at school to watch a soccer game, I did not see anything wrong with this so I said "OK" my son said that he would be home at 7:00p.m; school is over at 2:45p.m. so I told him that he needed to be home at 6:00p.m

When my son got off the phone, I had this gut feeling that something was going very wrong, I had the feeling that he was up to no good and I needed him home now!
I phoned my son and told him that he needed to come home right away, he said OK and hung up. Two minutes later my son called me back asking me to let him stay until 5:30p.m because he was watching the game, I gave in and said "fine"

My son got home at 5:12p.m I saw his eyes, they were so red, right away I asked him what was the matter with him, he gave me a story that he was with his friend, and the friend (Matthew) received a phone call informing him that his cousin had passed away; my son said that he new the child and was sadden by the news, I asked him to give me his phone so I could call this Matthew and give him my condolences, my son said that he did not know the phone number because they were not that close.
at that moment I knew that something was terribly wrong, I followed my son into his room and told him that I was not stupid and that I knew he was high. My son looked at me straight in my eyes and swore that he was not high and that I could have him tested.
finally he admitted that he was high and that he had smoked with this Matthew kid and some other child, he says that he only did it twice, the Friday prior and that day (Tuesday)
I took my sons cell phone, PS3, IPOD, TV, Sports, and weekends away from my son.

He has been good and he has been coming home at 3:21p.m everyday and weekends he has not been going out, I do not know at this point how long he has been doing this for. How long do I keep him grounded for? I am so sad because he lied to me and I have no trust for him again.

If anyone has gone through this, Please advice me what I need to do.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

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You should talk to him, sit him down and tell him "why" smoking weed is bad. He needs to understand the effects aren't just being hungry and thirsty, it goes further than that and ultimately weed is ten times worse than cigarettes. In high school they don't go over the basics, they only give tid bits of health issues that smoking does to a person. Grounding him and taking things away shows him that he rebelled, even if he told you the truth, and it might happen again.

If it does happen again, i would talk to the parents of the other boys and see how they would react knowing that their children are doing this. I wouldn't pounce at the chance to "bust" them, but i would definitely observe and find ways to speak with your son and come up with an understanding that smoking harms internal organs, brain functions, short-term memory loss and will affect the way they think as adults in the future. (Something i learned in my college class)

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Mari - posted on 11/25/2013

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Hi Britney, Thank you so much for your helpful input.
I did talk to my son about the consequences of doing drugs and smoking weed. I told him that I loved him dearly and I needed to get him out of this. he swears that he has not done it since that day, but as you could understand, I do not trust him :(

I have tried contacting the other parents to let them know that their older son is smoking with their younger son, since this is how my son was getting the weed.

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