My 15 month old has started crying when she goes with her dad

Rebecca - posted on 08/17/2013 ( 15 moms have responded )

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My 15 month old has been going for day visits with her dad since she was born. 4 visits ago she came home with a mark on her forehead. Since then her last 3 visits she freaks when she sees him. She doesn't want to go with him. Idk what to do. There is no order saying she has to go with him and child services has said she can't go to his place. I've started videoing her reaction to him so I have it documented but she looks at me with begging eyes. It's heart breaking. I'd like to get some kind of device I can send with her to record his visits does anyone have any ideas?

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Dove - posted on 08/18/2013

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OK... That makes a bit more sense. Since he doesn't have a court order for visitations and he's lost custody... If you have the visits continue I would NOT be having them be unsupervised. It is good that she has her father involved in her life on some level, but you really need to make sure she is safe..

Christina - posted on 08/20/2013

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I would tell him you want it recorded there days together send the cam and if he says no dont send her

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Kaotar - posted on 08/20/2013

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Don't send her! And did you ask him what the mark is and why she's afraid if him suddenly? And why can't she go to his place already?

Rebecca - posted on 08/17/2013

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No I have custody I'm her guardian and her primary parent because I was the only one going to the hospital to see her... When CPS took her from the hospital she came into my care... After 6 months went by with no change from her parents I got a lawyer and went to court... The law here is once 6 months has passed for an infant the child is permanently removed from her biological parents... Her dad sees her but her biological mom doesn't by her choice

Jodi - posted on 08/17/2013

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I must admit, that confuses me too. Are you her bio mother? Which means you didn't visit her in hospital enough either....

Dove - posted on 08/17/2013

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That sounds odd....

So this is her bio-father that has visits? Or you have an ex that has been a 'father' to her even though you weren't even together when you got custody? Or.... Yeah, I'm just confused now.

Rebecca - posted on 08/17/2013

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She was a preemie and her mom and dad didn't see her enough at the hospital so they took her away due to neglect.

Rebecca - posted on 08/17/2013

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I did ask him and he said he didn't know. CPS was letting him take her unsupervised before closing the file that is why I continued to let her go. However now that she is reacting so badly I'm not sure what to do

Rebecca - posted on 08/17/2013

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CPS has closed the file because I got custody, but before closing it he was getting unsupervised visits which they approved. Up until the last three visits she's been happy to go so I don't know what has changed but he is the only person she is reacting like this with. She is fine with ppl she doesn't know and doesn't get upset with anyone else. So I'm concerned that something has happened.

Jodi - posted on 08/17/2013

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Why has child services said she can't go? I think this is the most important part of your post. Why would you send her if they say no? You could end up having her taken off you if they say you can't do it and you continue to send her.

The mark could be anything, and may have been caused by an accident, and she is upset because of that accident. Her reaction may not be association to something dad did, but something that happened at dad's house. Did you ask him?

Dove - posted on 08/17/2013

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If there is no court order and she's freaking out... why are you sending her? Maybe he would be willing to meet in public with you there (but as uninvolved as possible... just a comforting 'presence') while she is going through this stage...

Though you say that child services has said she is not allowed to go to his place, so I'm thinking they have concerns about him... so I'm wondering... given all the information... why are you not already having him have supervised visits.

She has a right to a relationship with her father, but YOU have the responsibility to make sure it is safe.

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