Karen - posted on 03/17/2013 ( 170 moms have responded )
My daughter has been dating this boy for about five months, not too long after she first met him. When they first stared dating, he told her he used to cut himself but he was in therapy (at the time) and hasn't cut himself since they started going out. Last night, however, he texted her and told her he'd cut himself again. She is beside herself with worry; she spent hours crying and talking to me about this last night. I'm worried about him, of course, but I'm also very worried about my daughter -- he's asked her not to tell anyone and is trying to convince her that it's not a big deal and that her making it into one isn't good for him. I feel like he's trying to manipulate her feelings, and I think this is too much of a burden for my daughter to bear -- I'm not even sure how to handle it myself! He seems convinced that therapy won't help him, and doesn't seem interested in trying to get help. He seems like a good kid in general -- and he's always treated my daughter very well. But I don't really know very much about his family, and am not sure I feel comfortable telling them. What should I do?
Update: My daughter convinced him to tell his parents, which he did. Their reaction: His father got angry and as punishment, told him he couldn't see my daughter; his mother hasn't said anything to him about it at all. This has apparently been going on now for 3 or 4 years, so I'm getting the sense his parents may be fed up and are possibly no longer taking this seriously. My daughter told her boyfriend he absolutely has to get help and has to start therapy again or she won't be able to continue to see him. He agreed, but since his parents aren't acting, nothing has happened so far. My daughter has decided that in order to make sure he gets the help he needs, she wants to go in and talk to a guidance counselor at the school about this; I'm going to go with her for support and to get some advice on how to help my daughter handle and get through this (which is really what I was looking for advice about). She know this might make him angry, but she also knows that it has to be done.