my 15 year old daughter keeps telling other people her personal secrets. is there anything wrong with her?

Sufficient - posted on 03/14/2013 ( 11 moms have responded )

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my 15 year old daughter has been having low grades in school and around year five, she started telling people about her personal secrets like personal relationships. I have talked to her time and time again but she cannot take heed. she keeps telling people not to tell me because i dont like her. there is nothing I can afford to give to another person that i have not done for her

she tells very mature people both men and women. She tells them not to tell me yet she sometimes tells them after she has told me.

I am so disturbed by this kind of behaviour

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/14/2013

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Well, they are her secrets to tell, right?

I would be more concerned about why she thinks you don't like her. Why would she feel that way? This is probably where it all stems from. If you are concerned about her well being and possible self destruction, counseling may be in order....for you both. Building a strong foundation for a mother and daughter is pretty damned important. If she feels safer speaking to strangers about her problems, then she does not trust you, or is seeking your attention.

Kristi - posted on 03/15/2013

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I don't really know where the term "peanut gallery" came from. My dad would/does say it when he makes a comment that obviously opens himself up for immediate ridicule. (Just in fun, nothing disrespectful) He is acknowledging that but asking people to refrain from the wise cracks.

It's when you're addressing a group of friends, co-workers, family members, etc that have just as many "flaws" they could be picked on for also. But since it's all supposed to be silly in nature it's not like the pot calling the kettle black or saying someone is a hypocrite, etc.

I probably didn't do a very good job at explaining that. Plus, that's just my take on it. I could be totally wrong. IDK, I hope that helps a little, Dove.

Kristi - posted on 03/15/2013

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I find myself somewhat confused here. (no comments from the peanut gallery lol) Sometimes I do "read into" comments/posts and maybe that's what I'm doing here. But, based on both the OP and follow up post, this sounds like some kind of freaky secret thing. Like something you don't want her telling others about because it's damaging to her or to you, IDK, just not normal. Otherwise, why would you need to look for a remedy?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/14/2013

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Ok, I guess I'm confused about the term "personal secrets". To me, all secrets are personal. If you are saying that she shares inappropriate personal information with any and all, then that is most definitely a problem. But, if it's just a teenager type thing, she's going to have secrets. We all did at that age. We all had the "don't tell mom" type things. Not that they were always a good thing...but it is normal.

But, either way, it is a trust issue between the two of you. I'd suggest counseling for both of you as a family, and her individually.

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Kristi - posted on 03/15/2013

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Oh, now you've got me thinking! That's going to drive me crazy. The only thing I can come up with right now is making a reference to everybody being "nuts" or "nutty."

Dove - posted on 03/15/2013

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Sounds about what I thought it meant... I still wonder why it's CALLED the peanut gallery though. Seems like a rather odd name.... Don't know what else it could be called though. lol

Dove - posted on 03/15/2013

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I've been accused of being part of the 'peanut gallery' before.... still don't know what one is. ;)

I agree with the rest of your post though...

I'm very interested to know what types of relationships this girl is having that her mom doesn't want anyone to know about..... Sound very odd and very suspicious... and very concerning. Doesn't look like we're going to get any more info though.

Sufficient - posted on 03/14/2013

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Thank you both for your response which comes in hand. I appreciate your support and I am going to try my best to find out why this is happening and look for remedy as much as is possible. be blessed!

Dove - posted on 03/14/2013

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I don't get the problem except that the 2 of you could probably use some counseling to learn how to improve your relationship.

What personal relationships is she having that are secret and that she shouldn't be telling people about... and that she doesn't want YOU to know about? That would concern me a whole lot more than her just talking to people....

Sarah - posted on 03/14/2013

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I too would suggestion seeing a counselor. There could be many different reasons why she is doing what she is doing. Sometimes it is a nerological issue and sometimes it is more of a social issue.....does not know how to bond properly or proper boundries. Some times things can be taught and sometimes we have to change the way we parent in order to protect the child. A counselor would be able to help sort that out and give you suggestions. I would do yor research though with counselors find one that works a lot with children and also families.

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