My 15-year-old daughter moved in with her dad without warning

Stephanie - posted on 11/11/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

34

0

2

My 15-year-old daughter who is never ever lived with her father and has always been very very close to me moved in with her father just this past week without warning she has never said she wanted to move in with her dad and has never given me any reason to think that way but all of a sudden now she feels her life Will be better there and I'm scared for her because I know he's only doing this to hurt me on a personal level and to get out of paying child support which he's been fighting me for the fat past five years. I have three children with him twin boys and my daughter and two years ago my one twin decided to live with his dad because he didn't like our rules here and ever since then he has been trying to get his sister to move with him because she can party and have fun and there's no rules i've contacted children's aid and my lawyer and children's aid said that because my daughter is 15 she can choose where she wants to go even though my ex has a history of guns drugs and alcohol by admittance by my daughter and not a couple weeks ago he was rated by the police and his guns were taken away but children's aid still feels there's no problem there I am heartbroken scared terrified of what could happen and there's nothing I can do but sit and just wait for something bad to happen or my daughter to realize she needs to come home my son had come home once and then his father convinced him to come back again because of the rules my daughter when she left had her phone taken away and I think that's what set her off because her father promised her that he would never take the phone away on her or do any kind of punishments for her I don't know what to think anymore. Should I just let her be I'm taking most of her stuff there today so she can have her things I am not vindictive like that and I am just wondering now if maybe I should just let her experience life there and maybe see for herself that the grass isn't greener on the other side I'm really torn because my other son is still here and this has affected him to but my ex doesn't seem interested in my son who is here there was never a bond between them and my son that is with me now doesn't fall for his father's trickery quite so easily and he has a good life here and he says he knows it I don't understand the draw except for the no rules in the partying we have a beautiful home that is paid for three vehicles two of them are luxury vehicles we have an inground pool she had her own big room with the TV satellite Internet I had bought her an iPhone 6 gold and took her to do whatever she wanted gave her money and I'm thinking that maybe that was the problem I gave her too much we gave her too much and now she wants to go out into the world and think that maybe it's the same there so maybe this will be a life lesson for her as well as for myself I'm hurt yes she still my daughter if anything bad happens I will be there for her but now I'm realizing that maybe I need to take a step back and do for my son that is here and just take care of myself and my health is failing and I am very ill and it could be terminal we're still in the process of tests and doctors so I think now is the time that she could've been there for me but now has just put way more stress on me so my husband thinks I should just focus on my health and try not to get upset anymore I would love some feedback and thank you to all the moms out there who hold strong even in the face of adversity and for the doubters that think that we're just men bashing you're so wrong unless you've been in the situation you really have no idea what a vindictive acts will do to destroy the bond between mother and child

2 Comments

View replies by

Stephanie - posted on 11/11/2015

34

0

2

Sorry about the grammar ladies...today was awful, I took my daughters things to her fathers like he asked and I also brought her cat...this cat meant the world to her and she asked if I could bring her, I felt that having her cat would make her feel more at home and help her adjust. Boy was I wrong! My ex exploded and told me he was going to kill the cat because he didn't want it there..then my daughter called and said it was my fault if her cat died because I brought it to cause trouble..my head is spinning because here I thought I was doing the right thing and now I have my ex texting me awful things calling me names and convinced my daughter that this is something I did to cause grief...he cursed me out over the phone with my daughter in the background. All I can say now is if she can't see that a little bit of food and litter for a cat makes him go nuts then he really isn't having her there because he loves her and wants her happy..I just told her its her job to protect her pet that she's had for years and that if she was still with me I would of made sure her cat was safe and looked after no matter the cost or inconvenience because that's what moms do and to me that's love

Raye - posted on 11/11/2015

3,761

0

21

This is very hard to read without punctuation and paragraph breaks. I realize you're upset, but people need to be able to understand you before we can give any advice.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms