My 15 year old son refuses to go to school. He seems to just want to stay in his room all the time, talking to friends online and sleeping. He was always a hardworking boy, never had any time off school, always had a great attendance record. I am at the end of my tether because he is a big boy at 15 and i can no longer take him by the hand and drag him to school. Am i the only one to experience this or this feeling of utter despair. I work full-time and am shattered myself a lot of the time. Just feel like ending it sometimes.!! Help!!

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Jodi - posted on 01/20/2015

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T if you feel something is not right, I would advise getting your son some counselling. You need to find out why he is truanting and then you can work on a solution. If you don't feel removing his privileges will help, then don't, but your first step is getting to the bottom of his reasons for truancy. Is he suffering depression? Is he having bullying issues? Maybe he is feeling a lot of anxiety. I have seen truancy as a result of not getting all the work handed in and it just seems to spiral out of control until we end up with depressed and anxious teens. If you can't get an answer from him, the school counsellor may be able to help.

Raye - posted on 01/20/2015

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T, don't get discouraged with the comments you've received. We don't know your story. You've shared only a small part of it. We're just giving opinions, and it's okay if you don't agree with them. If nothing else, it should give you something else to consider when dealing with your son.

Your comment about "Just feel like ending it sometimes" is a BIG cry for help. People don't normally feel that low. You should think about seeing a counselor for yourself, and it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to get your son to go with you sometimes. It could help you both come out of the darkness a little bit and begin to feel more in control.

T - posted on 01/20/2015

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I have just only, this morning, felt some sort of relief when my son did go to school. He is a very quiet, shy boy. Each parent knows their child and knows when something is wrong. My son is not a "truanter" as explained in my last post, this is something that has only just began to happen. My son does have a mobile phone. It is a very old one that I used to own and he very rarely uses it. I am never asked if I can get him credit for his phone!! He also does have internet access but in this day and age what teenager doesn't?

I don't think I have come across very well here. I joined this site yesterday in the hope that I could get some advice, support or guidance from people who may very well be in the same situation as myself, or maybe have been in the past and to hear how they dealt with it. Sometimes it is a hard job being mum and dad but i am trying my best and if i thought that just confiscating things would make everything better then I would, but I just think that this would make things worse. Im sure I,m not the only person who has a teenager who does this but when you are on your own and don't have any real support it is really hard!!

.
Perhaps this was not such a good idea.

Jodi - posted on 01/20/2015

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I am a teacher, and I am constantly amazed at the children who refuse to go to school or truant regularly, their parents are tearing their hair out....and yet those same children have smartphones, phone credit and internet access. Why would you not cut these things off?

T - posted on 01/20/2015

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He is 15. Only in the last couple of years has he become so reclusive...is the only word I can find just now. I am walking on air this morning as he has gone to school with no problems. Not everyone is capable of phoning the authorities on their children... I am a 48 year old single mother and work full-time. I am doing my best to set good examples to my child and I feel that I am the one who is failing him. His father left me when I was 6 months pregnant. This was not how I thought it would be, My world is my son. Calling the police on him would only (in my mind) create more problems. I was only looking for some support from someone else out there who was maybe in the same position as myself. Unless you have actually experienced what I have/am feeling
then I don't think you fully understand...but thanks for your comment anyway!!

Jodi - posted on 01/19/2015

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So he sits in his room online talking to his friends? Why does he have a phone and online access?

Raye - posted on 01/19/2015

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If you are feeling that stressed, you need to get professional help. We can't really help you. You can be strong, and you can have control of your life and your child, but you need to make some decisions. Call the authorities on your boy for truancy. Make him accountable for his actions. And remember to take care of you. Flight attendants tell you in case of emergency to secure your oxygen mask first. If you don't then you're no help to anyone else. Only by taking care of yourself can you be strong enough to take care of others. Get help.

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