my 16 month old son has started screaming when hes goes to bed and will only sleep if he can see me

Coreen - posted on 02/13/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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16 month old son wont sleep with out me in the bedroom

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Elizabeth - posted on 02/15/2011

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That's normal, most kids who are not use to sleeping alone will behave this way. Also, he's getting older so he notices when you are not around. It could be separation anxiety (although if this is the case, you would probably also notice it during other times as well, not just bedtime), but since he is still so young, he has time to grow out of it. Start now because the older he gets, the worse it gets and the harder it becomes to break it.

A good way to break separation anxiety is to slowly part from your child for minutes at a time (i.e. during the day place him in his room to play for like a minute while you leave the room, then go back into the room. Each day, or week, increase the amount of time you are outside of the room, of course you need to make sure you are just outside the room, but out of sight; peak in at him...he's still young and needs supervision). I would say at night when he's crying, allow him to calm himself down without you coming to his aide. Peak in the room to make sure he's okay (don't let him see you) and if he is okay allow him to "work" through it. He knows what to do to get you to react the way he wants you to, if you come running all the time, he'll continue doing this (don't underestimate him, trust me, it's purposeful). Slowly break the habit, it will be hard at first, but eventually he will be able to sleep through out the night without you coming to pick him up.

Delay the time it takes you to go into his room; start with a two minute delay one night and the next night, increase it to maybe five minutes and continuing increasing the delay time each night. Eventually he will see that you are not coming into his room and go back to sleep. Make sure he has a night light and that his room is cozy and surrounded by things HE loves, not things that mommy and daddy thinks are cute (i.e. if he doesn't like a bear, put it away inside the toy box, instead of sitting it on the book shelf; if he has a favorite bear, sit it in a rocking chair where he can easily see it), also try soothing music at night. All these things can easily be weaned away and in most cases, they will let you know when they are ready to get rid of something such as a teddy bear, or night light, but sleeping in the same bed as mom and dad.....not so easy to break.

Bonnie - posted on 02/14/2011

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hmm ok. It's just kind of odd that if it is his molars why he would still sleep if you are in the room.

Anastasia - posted on 02/14/2011

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Coreen, what is different this time for him? Have any routine being changed? Anyting taken away? You need to give us more information and background to be able to assist you. It could be a couple of reasons:
Teething discomfort, cuddle time, scared, blankie or mom comfort, lights, music, bed etc. I want to assist!

Coreen - posted on 02/14/2011

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hi bonnie after reading other posts simular to mine i found out it could be his molars upsetting him so last night when he woke again i tried putting a little teething gel along where they are coming through and this settled him and he slept through till 8.30.

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