My 16 year old

Ana - posted on 06/14/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Having trouble setting boundaries with 16year old daughter and the 18 year old Boyfriend. Her grades have dropped and he seems to have no educational goals. Need advice on what approach to use on talking to them. I want them to stop seeing each other until her grades improve and she is more mature. Is this realistic?

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Eve - posted on 06/14/2013

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With my daughter, the more I say "no," the more she wants it so making your daughter stop seeing her boyfriend may not be realistic. It may only make her want to sneak out and see him more, which would not help her focus on improving her grades. Find out what subject areas she needs help with and set a schedule for the two of you to work together on her homework/projects with no distractions -- that means no phone calls/texts/IMs/visits, etc. from boyfriend during this time. Maybe even enroll her in extra tutoring. Make sure you fill her hours with schoolwork so that she will barely have enough time to be with her boyfriend. Once you see an improvement in her grades, then you can ease up.

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Ana - posted on 06/15/2013

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That teen attitude! I ask myself what happened to my sweet little girl. Well, I know the answer to that. Boys!!! My husband also says that she is growing up, to be patient but I think that as mothers we tend to see things differently. Especially on the education front. My husband values school and all but I am more on top of what is going on in school. Communicating with teachers, checking parent zangle, checking homework and it just gets a little overwhelming at times. Thank you again though and thanks for the ooportunity of allowing me to "vent". Sometimes that is the solution to letting go of some of that good old stress. :)

Eve - posted on 06/14/2013

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You are not alone, I'm going through the same thing with my daughter. We used to be very close. Then the boyfriend came into the picture and BOOM, she's always on her phone, her grades start slipping, she doesn't talk to me anymore, and when she does it's always with an attitude. When I go to my husband crying, "What happened?!?" he just dismisses it with "She's growing up, that's what happened." So, if you ever need someone to vent to, I'm here.

Ana - posted on 06/14/2013

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Thank you, I have done this. I just feel that I am losing the relationship with my daughterin the process. I try to stay positive but it is hard at times to not blame her gtdes dropping on the boyfriend status. We seem to argue more than we did before. I was looking for guidance today and found this page so maybe this is a blessing in disguise. I read alot and seem to be spending alot more time in the parenting and self helparea of barnes and noble lately!

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