My 16 year old adopted son is mixed

Pamela - posted on 09/17/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My cousin which is white let me adopt her child that had a black father. He was 7 days old when we brought him home. In the Deep South this is the toughest experience ever. He is quite due to being picked on about his color. At age 16 he is acting like he hates me and it's breaking my heart, I asked God for his will and thank him daily. I need advice on how to handle him.

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Pat - posted on 09/18/2016

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Wow! You are awesome! I think we all have identity crisis at some point! Your love says it all and encouraging every move of your son is so important. He is fighting a battle that already has been won, in more ways than one. Life is not performance based, color based, etc, acceptance. Significance and security is what we all are searching for in this crazy world. Worthless, no priceless, change his thinking to support nothing but honest truth. Love with no conditions, from the inside out. This too will pass!!!!!

Sarah - posted on 09/17/2016

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Also, acting badly towards your parents at 16 comes with the territory. Not saying that he isn't having additional stress related to he ethnicity. No matter what he is going thru, it is ok for you to expect him to treat you with respect.

Sarah - posted on 09/17/2016

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I agree with Ev. Get into some counseling. He is 16 yrs old. He is dealing with race and identity issues as an adopted child, as a biracial child, as a young adult.....all normal for his age, but sometimes counseling helps to sort things out and a safe place to talk about things.

Ev - posted on 09/17/2016

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Maybe get into counseling and get this out in the open. It can help you both face the issue and work through it. It is going to take more than God to get that to happen. Being of mixed race is harder on kids and adults because they may feel they do not belong to one or the other. But it is more common now that it was 20-40 years ago.

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