Rachel - posted on 08/26/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )
My daughter who is 16 has decided she hates it at home and doesn't want to follow the rules so she moved out and went to live with her 19 year old boyfriend and his baby at his mothers house. She won't tell me what is so horrible about being at home. When I ask her why she won't come home she tells me it's because I'm holding her back, but she won't tell me from what or how I'm holding her back. The only real rules at home were to help with the chores and be home by 10 pm or 11 pm In the summer. She always complained that she was the only one that ever lifted a finger to clean anything in the house. I had even let a boyfriend of here's that was kicked out of his house move in with us a while back (maybe that was a mistake). She won't talk to me about things, I have tried, she just tells me there is nothing to talk about. I tried talking to her father (who I'm divorced from and she has had almost no contact with for about 6 years now) to find out what he thinks cause he is going to have to deal with this emancipation as well. He told me in an around about way that this is my fault for letting her walk all over me and he doesn't support any of this. Being a single mom for a few years after the divorce (her brother was 4 and she was 3) was hard and sometimes it was easier to give in (not on everything). I eventually remarried and when she turned 12 she really started acting out and being defiant. When her stepdad tried backing me up on the rules she accused him of sexual assault (which she admitted to later lying about) which led to our divorce. She wasn't getting what she wanted so she manipulated the situation to get her way. She knows that when I don't have someone backing me up I tend to give in easier. This time around my current husband and I have been very careful as to put him in a situation where she could accuse him of anything. The only way to get what she wants now (to be treated like an adult and not be held back) is to move out and emancipate herself. I'm at a loss as to what to do. If I call the cops and report her as a runaway they will call the state and get child services involved not to mention she would leave home again just as soon as I got her home. She would probably go to one of her boyfriends friends houses where I won't know where she is, and I wouldn't know if it is a safe place. If I let her stay with her boyfriends mom at least I know where she is and know it's a decent place. If she feels this strong about being on her own and wants to emmacipate herself maybe I should just go with it and wish her the best. She will have to learn for herself how hard life can be. Anyone else been through this and how did you cope?