Char - posted on 10/09/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )
My 16 year old sons girlfriend came to live with us 3 months ago. Please finish reading before you pass judgment. She is an immigrant and comes from a very male dominated society. She and my son had sex close to a year ago while I was away on a business trip. I am a single mother, and thought I could trust my son overnight. Things escalated when her father found out. He called the police and tried to have my son charged with rape, but they were both 15. The father tried to force my son to marry her. He locked her up in the house and my son had no choice but to stop talking to her. Eventually they found a way to talk. They were chatting on a social media site and sent some nude pictures to each other. Her father found them. He tried to charge my son with pornography. Both of the kids sent naked pictures. The police refused to press charges. He began threatening my son and me. I asked the police for some protection, which they denied. I asked my son over and over to leave her alone and he stated that he cannot because they love each other. Three months ago her father called me at 2 am and told me to come and get her because she was a shame to his family. She spoke to my son a few minutes prior to the call and told my son her father had begun physically abusing her. I went and got her. He would not let her bring her property, just a couple changes of clothes. Her identification is there, which has made it very difficult for us. We have tried taking the police there and the father will not give it, stating he doesn't have it. The morning she came to my home I contacted Children's Services. I asked for their support and explained the situation. The lady I spoke to asked if she could stay here until something was figured out. I said yes. That was 3 months ago. Now Children's Services are back in the picture because her father wants her back and she refuses to go home because she was being abused. He told her to tell the police that I was abusing her and giving her drugs. I have asked her to put that in writing so that I can take it to the police and Children's Services. She is turning 16 right away and in Canada when children turn 16 they can make their own choices, legally. I don't know what to do. When she first came here my son gave up his bedroom and he slept on the hide-a-bed. Over time he moved back to his bedroom. The way I see it they're going to sneak around doing things if I don't allow some freedom of choice. I want to ensure their safety and am attempting harm reduction. Should I be letting this child go into foster care? Or should I keep her? The thing is her father is trying everything he can to make me look like a bad person and my future could be affected. I have come to love this little girl and want the best for her, but maybe I'm not seeing what's best for her. She wants to stay with us. I am moving into a 3 bedroom house so she can have her own bedroom, even though I know they will still have sex when I'm not home. She is on the needle, so I'm hoping there's no children in the near future. Please, some feedback would be greatly appreciated.