My 17 year old daughter has been lying to us and has a boyfriend we don't appro e of.

Cynthia - posted on 09/05/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




My dd is about to turn 18 has been an honor roll student since she was a little girl. Extra curricular activities, volunteer work, dances...are some of the things she does. I noticed a change in her a about six months ago when grades plummeted, and she became less interested in her activities! When she would ask if she could go to the mall with her friends her boyfriend (whom I thought was her friend) was always there. She had carried on a relationship with him for 6 months. He is not a good match for her. He has really bad grades and has no ambition and goals. He could f even pick up his grades to take her to her senior prom. She will be leaving to college soon, about an hour away. How do i make her realize he is no good for her? Help!!


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/05/2013




You don't. The more you push against him, the more she'll want him.

And she really hasn't been lying, not if he was blatantly present when you dropped her off...


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Jodi - posted on 09/05/2013




As you said, she is nearly 18. You are going to have to let her make her own mistakes. Sure, you could ground her and tell her he isn't suitable, but it will only make her more determined to be with this guy. I certainly wouldn't be trying to control my almost adult child's relationships.

The grades, on the other hand, you could discuss with her. Focus on that aspect, not the boyfriend. My son currently goes to a Catholic school, so tuition is reasonably expensive, and one of the things I have made clear to him is that I will not continue to pay that sort of money for his education if he doesn't put in his end of the deal - he can go to public school if he isn't going to work hard on his grades. With a child off to college, I would indicate that I wouldn't be paying for the college if she can't get the grades up, she will have to find the money herself. Harsh lesson? Yes. But life isn't about being easy.

Kim - posted on 09/05/2013




Most girls that age can't be told. They just have to make their mistakes and learn from it :( Just make sure she is smart enough to not get pregnant!

My mom used to tell us to always be nice when a guy was in someone's life, because you never know if they will be there for the long haul and you don't want to drive a wedge between you and the family member dating them.

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