My 17 year old daughter wants to be a boy

Almeche92 - posted on 10/20/2015 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My 17 year old daughter says she wants to be a boy, now that she is in an all girls school, but before she got there she had many boyfriends. Just before she got there she said that had met a boy that she was interested in and previous to that another and previous to that, she had a boyfriend for a year. We adopted her when she was 12 and she has always been a tom boy. I am concerned because she has also been diagnosed with Personality Disorder, I have read literature that says that people with BPD just have a hard time with identity. She also claims to be Bisexual, I just think her hormones are out of control. I want to support her but I am very confused.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/20/2015

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Your daughter's sexual identity and gender identity are two totally separate things.

Since you don't understand her feelings, it is time for her to speak with a counselor or therapist that handles gender identity. Also, you say that she's diagnosed with Personality disorder, and that BPD folks have problems...BPD as in Bi-Polar disorder? That and personality disorder are also two separate and different things.

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Jodi - posted on 10/20/2015

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LOL, I hear you.....I was talking to a colleague just yesterday and referred to them as vampire children because I am so utterly overwhelmed with student issues. I am a Year group advisor (wellbeing team) and some days it's just crazy. Yesterday was one of those crazy, "I'm in the Twilight Zone" days.

Take care. If you are working with teens, it's a tough job, but it is a valuable one, even on the days you feel defeated.

Jennifer - posted on 10/20/2015

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What I mean is teens drain me because I do therapy for a school with all grades

Jodi - posted on 10/20/2015

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Jennifer, as a teacher of adolescents, with a major in psychology, I am totally aware of this....

Note that I said gender identified with. What you are talking about is not the gender they identify with, but rather, the gender they feel they should be because of the views of others. Big difference. This is WHY I pointed out to this mother that the two are not related and suggested that she seek professional help for her daughter to allow her daughter to be the one to sort through her issues herself without interference from her mother.

I don't quite understand your last statement about being a therapist during the week and not liking it or something. It didn't make much sense.

Jennifer - posted on 10/20/2015

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True jodi to every thing u said but I have to just say I have had bisexual girls want to be a boy so bad they become transgender because they get their parents to feel so bad about the way they feel that the parents pay to start things to happen. Sweety trust me I'm a therapist and I do not like how they have me take a pre-k through 12 school therapist during the week and a therapist for ppl under 18 in my office instead of adults

Jodi - posted on 10/20/2015

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The gender a person identifies with has nothing to do with their sexual preference. So basically, the fact that she has had boyfriends is irrelevant to the fact she wants to be a boy.

Can I ask if she is seeing a therapist? A therapist will be able to help her sort through these issues.

Jennifer - posted on 10/20/2015

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Sweety I'm just gonna tell u about my daughter and if u want my help I could try to give u the site I share with my daughter her girlfriend and my brother in law but she my daughter is a lesbian and her girlfriend is bisexual and I was into guy's but im strictly for girl's now so I know alot if u need to talk

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