my 17 year old son

Jewell - posted on 06/18/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Ok so my 17 year old son just graduated high school with honors. He is an awesome kid but very laid back in the sense it seems he lacks motivation. He just started working and will be going to community college in the fall (fulltime). I just pulled money from my ira to get him a car since I work full
time. I told him he will be responsible for paying the monthly insurance which is 147/mo and will pay for his own gas. We are possibly in transition of moving back with step dad. Step dad is retired marine and feels he will have to pay some rent since you can't live for free. I understand nothing is free but right now why put so much pressure on him? Maybe I am wrong but we continuely fight about it and I wanted to get some advice from others that may have gime theough this. I can definitely understand if he was a bum and was a free loader but he isn't. He does play video games a lot and seems to lack about taking initiative but he will do anything that's asked of him and isn't disrespectful. His passion in college is going to be digital video game design. Please help a stressed out mom!!! Thanks..

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Jewell - posted on 06/19/2014

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Thank you and that's exactly what the step dad says. Maybe its in his delivery that I feel stressed when talking about it. Thanks for the response.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/19/2014

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When my son graduated high school, we had a contract drawn up. In that contract, I paid his insurance, he paid all other vehicle expenses. He paid me room & board, as well as contributing to household chores and cooking duties.

It is not out of line to expect your kid to man up and be an adult. Especially if you are not the only two living in the house. If you're 'moving back in' with your spouse, then it's his house, and yes, I think the kid should pay an amount each month for room & board. How else do expect them to learn how to manage the budget so that they can move forward in their life?

Amanda - posted on 06/18/2014

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I think having your son just pay for insurance and gas alone will be fine for now. You don't want to throw him right out into the real world too quickly!
Once he gets more acquainted or maybe gets a raise in his job then maybe you can talk to him about chipping in with rent for his room.
He is still very young and needs help adjusting, give him time and then you can talk about him taking on more responsibility in the house.

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