[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )
We never wanted him to date her in the first place because of all the boy friends she has had, and what we read on her facebook. She had just broke up with a boy and a week later liked our son. He started treating us awful because we said NO to him dating her. After a week of being treated like this we finally gave in and said he could date her... One of the reasons we gave in, he told us she was a good girl and was not a sexual girl, and he said he wasn't looking for a sexual relationship right now either. He dated her for 2 months and our son has now turned into a totally different person. He started lying, skipped school to go see her. Our son is a high honor role student, has never told us lies before, has never givin us any problems, Ever!!!
A few days ago I took his phone from him because I felt something wasn't right. He never deleted his text messages so I got to read a whole month of their confersations back and forth. It took me almost a hour to read everything and I could not believe what I was reading. She told him she like to give oral sex and she was good at it. My son told her he was upset to hear that and told her he didn't want that right now.. she told him he just lowered her self esteem by not wanting one. He then told her he was sorry and needed to forget about her past and what she had done to other guys! One week later in the text she is asking him if they can do sexual things, like anything.. he said, yes this time. He never got the chance because that was the day I took his phone, thankfully!
My son was so mad I took his phone and found this out. He said I want to live somewhere else after we told him he was grounded for skipping school, and he was not going to date her anymore. We gave him rules in the beginning when they started dating, Example: Her mom had to be there when he went to her house, no sneaking around, no being in her room. He done everything we asked him not to do because the girl has him wrapped around her finger and she is such a manipulater!!
Anyway, he started treating us like crap again! Told us all he wanted was to leave our home and be with her, we said that's not going to happen. My husband and I tried our best to talk with him and he totally ignoered us. A few nights ago we tried talking with him again and he would just say I'm tired and cover his head with a blanket. I told him he was not going to treat us like shit over a girl who is boy crazy and loves giving oral sex, who knows what she could have caught from doing that.. he got so mad and it turned into a big argument. He stressed me out so bad I was yelling at him to wake up and see the big picture about that girl, he smarted off to me and I slapped him once on the face and he looked at me with such evil eyes and it was freaky to me. Later in the night my husband tried talking with him and he just covered his head with blankets and said I don't want to live here anymore, ' I want to live with Paige" ( the g/f ) we told him that was not going to happen and if he kept this up we were going to home school him to keep him away from her until he gets his head back on his shoulders.
The next morning I went to wake him and he was gone, I looked outside and his truck was in the driveway, I woke my husband up and started to panic. I called the school he wasn't there and neither was the girl, so we called the police.We drove to the girls house and the cop followed us, my husband went to the door and her sister said our son was there but not now, then the cop went in and told my husband to wait in the car. When the cop came back to our car he told us our son and his g/f went to child protective services for child abuse because I ( his mom) beat him up that night. I forgot to mention, our son walked ten miles to that girls house in zero degree's weather. He told CPS that was his safe haven from us, and the abuse in our home and he was in living in a unsafe and hectic enviroment. He then brought up 7 years ago when my husband and I were having problems and he told them he has been living a awful life but was to ashamed to tell anyone, wow!!
After being there all day telling CPS and the cop his story they started an investagatoin. Btw, we never got to meet her mom before, but here mom went to CPS when the g/f asked her to. They finally brought him back home, talked to us, told us family counsling was needed and this is a 30 day trial to see how things work out. Our son done all of this thinking they would let him go live with that girl and her mom. He told me today it broke is heart when they brought him back home to us, and he couldn't stand to be in my presense anymore and now he dislikes me more than ever.
The day before I took his phone he was fine and still asking me for money to take that girl out to eat, those are things I had done for him, and buying her Christmas gifts for him to give her. Now I am a child abuser he says. I am so hurt and can't stop crying, when I try talking with him he looks at me like he hates my gutts, such evil looks he gives me.
I have his phone and he is getting text from kids at school saying" we heard what your mom done to you" we hope your safe, do what you have to do bro. My son didn't go to school yesterday and the girl went and told all the kids I abused my son, posted it all over facebook I was told.
I have never gave our son a spanking in his life nor his father, I slapped him one time that night for how he was treating me.
Am I a bad mother for loving my son and wanting the best for him? Is his father a bad dad for telling him also he is not dating that girl because of what I wrote above about her? I know he's a 17 year old teenager and all kids go through things at that age, BUT, telling CPS I abused him and he dislikes me his hard to take. Where did I go wrong??