my 17 yr old daughter is pregnant and has ended the relationship with the babys father due to his constant threats and unreasonable behaviour she has offered him 2 days a week acsess once the baby is here but he has told her he wants 3 and half days and nights a week can any one help
Amy - posted on 07/01/2012
I must agree that going to court can insure the best thing for your daughter and grandchild. However, this may not be necessary until after the birth. Many things can change for the father during this time. Noting his absents for doctors visits, birthing classes, and the like. Along with breast feeding and the doctors instructions for care of a newborn with help during the court proceedings. Also, If I were in this situation with my own children (17Son; 19Daughter; 21Son) I would encourage the child to retain your daughters maiden name. I would also have her wait this out, and really think about what she feels best is for her baby. I imagine that will be staying very close to baby. The father is no doubt speaking to his friends or family and his interest about his rights are due to the newness of this pregnancy. I would continue to support your daughter in all aspects of her pregnancy, he will most likely not have the time. Because their relationship has ended I will go out on a limb here and say that most likely his relationship with the baby will follow suit. Should you or your daughter find it your preference for the baby to know his/her father and his family, try speaking with the boys parents. Both teenagers have allot of growing and responsibilities ahead of them, but they do need parents themselves. He may not have considered that 50/50 custody is going to be difficult because he will need to have a job to support the baby. Has he considered that three days a week could involve a sitter. One that must be approved by your daughter. The young man's family should also want what's best for this new baby. That could include visits that include your daughter, or less frequent visits until the child has built a relationship with them. You don't want to fall into a preset agreement before you know the needs of your grandchild. Agreeing to two weekends a month may be more reasonable or even workable with everyone's busy schedule. A mediator may be best if all the involved parties can agree. Is it possible they don't know their son is asking for equal time? Bottom line here is this can work out for the best! Hang in there.
Brittany - posted on 06/30/2012
Yup I agree, go to court - I don't think it's unreasonable to make sure he spends time with baby, but a newborn should not be leaving mom for extended periods. Your daughter will have an easier time getting her way with this, if the baby is breastfed. 50/50 custody can be a fine situation with a child, but I would not encourage it with a new born, and as such if he is just as young as your daughter, these maybe just simple threats considering she has left him.
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