My 18-year-old Son

Danita Rebecca - posted on 12/10/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Here's just one of the issues going on in my home. My son is asleep on the couch right now and his missed school because he is exhausted. He is a senior. He attends school the first half of the day, trade school the second half, and works 5 to 10 p.m. He doesn't have to do this, but he's very independent and enjoys having his own money. He doesn't do drugs. He doesn't have time. I've questioned him about that before, and he said he would take any drug test I gave him. He also acted like it hurt his feelings that I even suggested that. Should I take him to the doctor to see why he's so fatigued, or do I already know the answer? I'm proud of his drive, but I know he's wearing himself out. I guess I don't know what I'm asking. Just putting my thoughts in writing.

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TERA - posted on 03/10/2015

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My son is 18 his become very lazy.Hes always been a good kid and good behavior. He graduates in 2 months and doesn't have any clue what he wants to do.he depressed has thought about suicide.doesnt want to do anything unless its with his friends.when his whole he stays up in his room comes down to eat and avoids any conversations about his future or he wants to argue about it.trying to help him figure out something to do after school each day instead of just hanging with friend or home in his room.Idont want him to work till he graduates because his grades are already suffering so I this k a job would make it worse.and ideas about how to get him to try something new besides what has doing now..y heart breaks for him because he can't look into his future he just focuse on each day.please any advise welcomed.

Danita Rebecca - posted on 12/14/2013

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I responded to you once, but I feel the need to add a little more. You attacked my skills as a mother. I'm wanting advice on communicating with him and if anyone else has a teenager who lies around tired all the time. I do buy healthy foods for my home. However, it's difficult to keep him from eating junk food when he's out with his friends. No, it doesn't take a doctor to tell me that. It takes a mother who has been or is in that situation. Is that you? He has time on the weekend and spends it with his friends doing teenage stuff. He chooses to do what he does. He by no means has to. I provide for him well. I listen to all suggestions, but I didn't join this group to have my mothering skills attacked. I just want advice on communication skills. Maybe I'm just not being clear enough in describing the situation with my son.

Danita Rebecca - posted on 12/14/2013

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Jody, my son attends school starting at 8 a.m. (9 a.m. on Wednesdays) and then works 'til 10 p.m. four days a week. And, yes, I HAVE TRIED THAT. I raised two children on my own (my daughter is 25) while working over 40 hours a week as a paralegal, going to school at night, and making sure they had everything they needed such as cooked meals, nice clothes, and lots of love - a lot more than what I had growing up. Have you done that, and do you have a 17 or 18 year-old son? It sounds like either you don't, or you have a husband. My son does all this by choice. He does not have to, but he likes having his own money because he is very independent. He doesn't blow that money like an average teenager. He is very smart with his money and saves it up. He has several options, and that's what he chooses to do.

Danita Rebecca - posted on 12/14/2013

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Julie, you have given some great insight. I'm sorry it took me so long to respond. I must have made a typo in my question. I meant "trade school." That is a program that his school offers for the kids in the afternoon to learn a trade to prepare them for after graduation. He is taking carpentry, but he has always planned to be an architect, so I don't know if he's just getting a certificate in carpentry to go along with a degree in architecture or if he's changed his mind and has decided to go into carpentry. He has a natural talent for both. You have really sparked my interest. If he does online schooling in the morning, will he still be able to walk with his senior class at graduation and receive a diploma like the rest of the kids? By the way, I didn't mean that he works full-time. He works a part-time job after school.

Jodi - posted on 12/10/2013

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He attends school for the first half of the day, trade school for the second half, and then works until 10pm. You try it. Of COURSE he is tired. it doesn't need a doctor to figure it out. I'm not sure what time he starts school, but that is a LONG day. I'm assuming he does this 5 days a week? That's like working a 12 hour a day job (at least). Have YOU ever done that? I'm not certain what his options are, but make sure he is eating well, and when he has his weekends, that he has a break over the weekend.

Julia Parker - posted on 12/10/2013

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What is trad school? Why doesn't your boy do online school in the morning so he can relax a bit. You are the parent give him a choice of ether going part-time at work or going online school to finish high school even mornings. You love him tell him and give him rules. My kids will only be allowed to work full-time in the summers and part-time during school. He's going to burn out. He has plenty of time to work. Graduate with good grades and feel good about himself it good. Tell him you 'll support him but he lives in your house.If you didn't make those rules it's going to harder to change it. Give him the choices or you will choose for him. Give him a week to decide.

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