My 18 year old son wants to drive to San francisco from north carolina

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Raye - posted on 05/27/2016

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He's 18, which means he's legally an adult and can make his own choices. I take it that you don't want him to go? Have you had an adult conversation with him to express your concerns over this decision? Who's car is he using? If it's your car, you can say that he can't make the trip in your car. and would have to find other transportation. Is the transportation reliable enough to make the trip? Is he going with friends that may add to his safety? ... friends that may compromise his safety? .. or alone? Does he have money for expenses (gas, meals, lodging, etc.)? What's the plan once he gets there? I assume there would be a return trip, and the same questions apply. There are a lot of considerations when making these choices.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/28/2016

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At the age of 18, my eldest drove himself and 15 yo brother from southern Wyoming to northern Minnesota for camp. He had been well educated in highway travel, safety, and security. They also had ready cell contact. They did fine. That being said, we just had Mass for my 21 yo nephew's funeral. He was driving home from my dad's, a 1.5 hour drive, was fatigued, and rolled his car.
Travelling long distances is not a problem, if he's been well educated. The concern is making sure they recognize signs of fatigue. My son's route was pre calculated, with scheduled stops, both during the day for a driving breaks, and a predetermined stopping point for the night.
My son and his brother had a wonderful time when they did their road trip, and they were careful.

Ev - posted on 05/28/2016

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Lesley--I did not have my teens (kids are adults now) want to do something like this but my daughter at graduation had chosen a school just across the state to attend. Of course, she was not sure she had made the right choice and admitted she was not ready to be too far away from home. I told her she was ready then. More so than I was at 18 when I had made a choice that took me from home for just over six months. I was a mess. Anyway, I had to get used to her making choices in friends once at college and coming and going back and forth. I had not met these kids yet. But she was good in her choices and have several life long friends from it. I had to get used to her making her choices. Now she is married to one of those several friends she had made and they have two adorable kids themselves. I know it is hard to let our kids grow up and make choices. But Raye's advice is valid and to the point. Just have a conversation with him. If you approach it saying that you wondered what he thought of doing for funds, travel companions and so on he might be willing to open up and listen.

NOTE: For the most of my kids' lives I have always talked about things with them. When they were both 15 we started to have adult style conversations and when some of them were about making a choice they knew that I would make the final decision about the discussion if one was to be made. Our other discussions done adult style were kinda like debates over thoughts on current events and other things and it helped them develop that skill of acting and talking like an adult.

Lesley - posted on 05/27/2016

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Thanks Raye, it's not that I don't want him to go. I'm just not sure he is mature enough but like you said he is 18. Im just nervous. Thanks for your suggestions. Lesley

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