my 18yr old daughter (pregnant) cant stand me and my boyfriend

Maria Isabel - posted on 06/11/2014 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 yr. i have 3 children a 18yr old that 8 month pregnant two boys 14 and 11 . my boys like my boyfriend but ever since my daughter got pregnant she cant stand the fact im with my boyfriend, she blocked me from facebook and we always have arguments when it comes to me going somwhere with my guy. i dont see him till the weekend so usually we have our own time on saturday after 8 or 9 pm then sunday we do what ever my kids want to do . but everytime i leave she starts texting me with im a bad mother because i leave them, that why did i have children if im not going to take care of them and so on. i work 12 hrs a day 5 days a week during the week i take my kids to their sports and do all my resposabilities as a mother . I need help on how to manage this whole situation I feel im getting sick out of this.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/11/2014

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I would have to say that your daughter doesn't have to like your boyfriend, and she does have a slight point...while your 14 yo may be old enough to fend for himself, your 11 yo isn't, so if you're not making arrangements for the care of the 11 yo (that doesn't involve assuming that his sister will babysit)...she may have a point.

Now, her methods of pointing that out are childish, immature, and not conductive to being a good parent herself, which I hope you're pointing out to her!

At the age of 18, she doesn't have to let you be her FB friend, she doesn't have to agree with you. However, she also doesn't get to give or rescind permission for you dating, as you are an adult as well.

So...First, tell her that, if she's living at home, and plans to continue to do so after the baby is born, she'll need to reimburse you monthly for room and board in an appropriate amount. Set a date each month for her to pay you by. If she doesn't like it, tough. She's an adult, she is about to be a mother, and she needs to learn how to stand on her own two feet. Give her a date to be out by. Tell her that she is allowed to have her opinion on your dating, but she may not rudely voice it, because you've not asked her for her opinion. She may respectfully express it, if she can find the words to do so, but if not, don't continue to take her harassment.

Yeah, could be pregnancy hormones, but still...

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Tanya - posted on 06/12/2014

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You're life is not over. You're entitled to a boyfriend...

She needs to start worrying about what she has to do with this baby on the way... She was old enough to have sex and have baby she should be old enough to respect the fact that you have a boyfriend. From what you've said you're a great mom!

You only see your boyfriend on the weekends...you have you mother and children living with you... You're doing fine...but you're daughter made some bad choices and is taking it out on you...

Just be ready...you have a another baby on the way....

Jodi - posted on 06/12/2014

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Just out of interest, is your 18 year old the one who always has to babysit and supervise the younger ones for you when you go out?

Maria Isabel - posted on 06/11/2014

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oh no nothing between both of them. my daughter has her boyfriend , in which he never comes around. Her statement towards me is " you don't like my boyfriend so I don't have to like yours" my reponse to her was " Its no that I don't like your boyfriend( babies daddy) what I don't like is that he is not paying attention to you, he don't take you to the Dr., he don't take you out at all. your about to have his baby and he has not showed responsability or attention towards you" I know my daughter is not happy, and maybe that's why she hates my relationship so much. I have tried to talk to her calmly and as melow as possible but she don't listen or pays attention to what 'm trying to get her to understand, she waits for me to finish and says the same things over and over and at the end I'm still the bad one. My boyfriend has tried talking to her and shes just disrespectful and rude. she wants things her way or nothing , and its just not going to happen.I lived too many years in an abussive relationship with their father she has her own family coming and I'm not going to leave a good man for a childish action of my 18 yr old.

Sarah - posted on 06/11/2014

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Did this just start once she became pregnant? If this is not her normal behavior I would look at things more deeply. It could be pregnancy hormones. But there could be something deeper going on that needs addressing. As mentioned before there might be some childish behavior on your part that you need to look at and examine. I would also examine how she became pregnant. If there is an unusual hatred for your boyfriend that was not there before she became pregnant that would leave me to wonder if something went on between the two of them. Something I would be looking into on.

Maria Isabel - posted on 06/11/2014

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I never leave my two boys alone, they always stay with my mom in which she lives with me aswell. thank you

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