My 19 month old son hits other babies.

Debby - posted on 10/22/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Recently, my step brother and his 16 months old baby girl moved in with us to share a room. Of course my son would naturally feel jealous when when another baby is present, but he still managed to share his toys and plays with her. Not even a month later, he started to hit her every time he sees her. He would chase her around the living room and kitchen for an hour, just determined to hit her. Her mother had to carry and block him from getting towards her. As a punishment, I held his hands behind his back and made him sit for 15 mins in one spot, at the same telling him, no! I am just curious to why his attitude changed all of a sudden, and is this normal. If not, what can I do to teach him not to do so, cause it seems like the more I tell him not to do it, the more he does.

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Holly - posted on 10/22/2012

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relax, it HONESTLY is normal behavior. You'd be surprised as to how much your baby understands compared to how much he can actually speak. My sister used to be upset with me because i would talk to my babies like they were adults when they were babies. it is important to talk to them like this so that they learn how to talk... I REALLY think you are not under reacting. I would seriously keep the time outs short, but DEFINITELY encourage him to "use his words" even if it is just pointing to a toy, he is learning to communicate what he wants, instead of getting frustrated and hitting

Debby - posted on 10/22/2012

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I am sorry everyone, I forgot to mention that my son have low scores on certain abilities and he is now enrolling for therapies for speech, social, and developmental skills. Well, talking to him is almost impossible since he will not care to listen. No,stop, mom, and dad are the only words he says at the moment, so I try to just keep it simple for him to understand. On another note, I see that a lot of moms here are concerned about his 15 minutes time out, and I just want everyone to know that time was just an exaggeration of holding him down and trying to get his full attention, and thank you for your that. The funny thing was that when the little girl was around, he would make only direct eye contact with her and her mother for close to 40mins or so, like he was fiercely determined to hurt her (I would say?). So what confuses me the most is that, is his behavior out of jealously, or am I not being strict enough, or if he just enjoys it, I am just not sure because he just recently started acting like this. And I admit, I am embarrass of this when I am around people. I am not too sure that what he is doing it for attention because sometimes he'll just pretends like he is doing something and all of a sudden, smack her and pulls her hair when no one is looking, then he'll run off like nothing happened. But hearing from some of these comments, I am definitely going to try to force him to at least hug her or comfort her, so he'll know that is the right way to treat others and if that don't work, I'll try to take him to another room. Thanks moms, I really appreciate your help.

Holly - posted on 10/22/2012

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i agree that 15 minutes is too long for a child not even 2yo, but i still agree with the time out. I would put him in time out for 2 minutes. and tell the 16mo little girl i am so sorry that my son hit you. kiss her boo boo and let her play... then explain to the 19mo "son, it is not ok to hit, we use our words. then let him go play, if you see him raise his hand to the girl again, before he has a chance to hit her take his hand and tell him, we don't hit. what seems to be the matter? why are we hitting?" i know he is not able to complete full sentences, but i am sure he is able to let you know what he wants. if he wants a toy that she has, tell him that when 16mo is done with it you can play with it then

Ariana - posted on 10/22/2012

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I think Amy is right.



I also think if he's running around for that long I would take him away from her as well. Just say, we don't hit our friends, and take him into another room for a little bit.



He's probably doing it for the reaction but you shouldn't give him attention for doing it.

Amy - posted on 10/22/2012

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15 minutes for a 19 month old is too long. After about 2 he's going to forget why you are doing what you are doing anyway. Instead teach him how to touch nicely. I know she's not a pet but when both my kids went through the phase of hitting we responded with "no don't hit" in a low firm voice and then we followed it up nicely with "nice touches" and we would take there hand and stroke either the dog or our arm.



You also have to remind yourself kids do stuff for the reaction too. So once he realized all the attention he was going to get from hitting someone else it reinforced it in his head. So now he can run around for an hour with everyone yelling at him or at least paying attention to him. Instead focus on the little girl, if she gets hit say "no don't hit" and then lavish her with attention and ignore him. I know it's hard to control the reaction of a 16 month old little girl but when my daughter went through her hitting phase it was really only with her older brother because he would scream and be very dramatic about it, she loved his reaction, so we had to teach him to say "no don't hit" and then turn around and ignore her. Once he started ignoring her she didn't find it as much fun.

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