My 19 yr old daughter broke up with her boyfriend of 10 months. He pleaded with her not too, they were each other's first loves. She had some issues with him as he became overly needy. She told him she just doesn't want a boyfriend right now and wants to focus on school and her self. He would like her back, but she is not changing her mind. She has blocked him entirely from all social media because she doesn't want to be hurt by seeing him in pics with other girls and having fun. He blocked her too, but his reason is more to get back at her , which is the way he operates. I know he loves her desperately, but he is immature and insecure too. The problem is me, I can't stop going on fb too see what he and his friends are up to. Hh loves posting comments and pics on fb. I think its how he gets his validation. My daughter does not need to put her self out there like that. She prefers twitter and instagram. I just don't want to see him with other girls other than my daughter. It's affecting me too much but I can't stop myself or from feeling this way. My daughter at first understood but now I dont tell her that I'm doing it and of course she doesn

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Liz - posted on 02/04/2013

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The fact that you're able to articulate the area with which you have a problem and recognise that you may also be depressed is indicative of your ability to do something about it. Part of your brain is still rational, as opposed to being so sunk in depression that you just shut down. That's good.

You really do need to take a deep breath and block this young man on Facebook and move on.

If it helps you to see your doctor regarding possible therapy for the menopause, whether that might be hormone replacement or counselling, then do whatever would seem to work for you, but please don't stagnate and do nothing, using it as the excuse to keep obsessing about your daughter's ex. It's unhealthy for everyone.

Liz - posted on 02/04/2013

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I'm sorry to be harsh, but you're a grown woman and it's your daughter that has had this break up, not you. If you don't want to see him on Facebook etc with other girls, then take a leaf out of your daughter's book and block him.

If he's the right one for your daughter, they'll end up together in time. If not, they won't. Either way it's ridiculous for you to be obsessing over it.

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Robin - posted on 02/04/2013

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Thanks for your advice, I know I have to take action. A lot of friends and people I know are on medication, however I have been apprehensive because of the terrible side effects, but I'll have to consult with my Dr. I wrote because I wondered if there were others out there that have gone through something similar with their daughter or son. I was hoping I wasn't the only sad sack out there! Thanks again, Liz, you're very kind.

Robin - posted on 02/04/2013

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Thanks, I expected these comments, but the rest of my post didn't go through. I know intellectually it's pathetic, but my thoughts get consumed somehow. What i also said was I 'm going through peri-menopause and I feel depressed and out of control a lot of days and was wondering if this could be a contributing factor? I do have a life, I promise. I just seem to be focusing on this right now for some reason. Any feedback in this area would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

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