My 19month old cries through the night

Sharon - posted on 02/15/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My 19 month old daughter sleeps in the same bed as me. I know that is up for discussion, but that's not the problem. The problem is that she wakes up 2 or 3 times a night crying and looking for me or crying for milk or anything to get her out of the bed. She's not hungry, there's nothing wrong with her, but she cries for nothing.

How do I get her to just sleep through the night..??

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Sharon - posted on 02/17/2011

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You ladies are awsome!!! Not that I haven't tried before, but this time I went at it 100%. I put my little Princess to sleep and left her alone. After crying for 1.5 hours I went to check on her and there was no tears...lol.. She gave me a big smile when she saw me so I layed down with her for 5 minutes and left the room. She slept for 6 hours straight until I checked on her in the morning and she hugged me tight, tight, tight and wouldn't let me go... I layed with her for 10 minutes and all was good. Second try will be tonight. Thanks for the encouragement ladies.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/15/2011

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I'm sorry, but also, if she is crying to get out of your bed, then I agree with the other mom, perhaps she is ready to sleep in her own bed in her own room.....either way, good luck! :-)

Elizabeth - posted on 02/15/2011

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Well, children usually continue the behavior that they know will get them the gratification they are looking for. Don't underestimate your child; at this age they are learning purposeful behaviors (meaning they start doing things on purpose especially if they notice it will get them what they want). Pay attention to her when she drops toys and laugh about it, or if she throws something and laugh about it. Especially pay attention to her when she drops something and you pick it up and she does it all over again, or when you tell her not to do something and she goes and does it anyways.....all purposeful behaviors.



Consider every night delaying the amount of time it takes you before going into her room. For example, if you usually run right in there the moment she cries, try waiting two minutes one night and then on the second night five minutes. Keep increasing the time every night until eventually she does not cry for you, or until she gets in the habit of "rocking" her self back to sleep. I am not saying for you to NOT make sure she is okay, but instead of allowing her to see you check in on her, stand at the door and peak in (try to stay out of her view) and make sure everything is okay. If she is fine, walk away and give her time to settle back down. At first, her cries will get louder and sound like she is more frustrated, but that is normal. After all, we are adults and when we want attention, we know what to do to get it and if someone doesn't hear us, we get louder and if they don't respond, we get frustrated....it's the same way with children.



I have four children and I had this problem with my oldest (needless to say, all it took was this one child for me to learn) and we broke it by simply letting her cry and when she would get out of the bed, we would simply walk her back to her bed, tuck her in her covers and leave the room. We invested in a night light (small price to pay) and eventually, she was okay with sleeping in her own room. It took a couple of weeks, maybe a month, but she eventually got it and it was well worth it. Also, try decorating her room in warm, peaceful colors and only putting stuffed animals in her view that she really likes (if you have not already done so). During the day, if you are at home, allow her to go into her room to play and also to take naps in her room; this will get her use to her room and make it a fun place that she actually likes to be in.



If your daughter is falling to sleep as soon as she gets into your bed, chances are she is sleepy and will soon fall back to sleep if you let her stay in her own bed. You said that the problem is not that she is sleeping in the same bed, but ultimately that is exactly what the problem is. She is crying (as you stated) because she wants you to come and get her out of her bed. If she were still crying even after you put her into your bed, then I would say that sleeping in the same bed is not the problem and she possibly has problems with sleeping at night (insomnia, sleep terrors, nightmares....), but if she stops crying after you put her into your bed, then ultimately, sleeping in the same bed with you is the problem. It doesn't have to be a bad problem if you are okay with it, it is actually normal practices in some cultures, but if you think it's a problem, then it is worth addressing.



Another thing, try purchasing her a night light, or playing some soothing music when she cries to help her get back to sleep and when you know that she is fine, don't go to her. She will learn so much more developmental wise that you don't even realize she's learning from this simple situation. Another thing I got in the habit of doing (this was just for my own peace of mind), getting up in the middle of the night and just walking into my kids rooms to make sure they are sound asleep and all is well. This will help you gain a peace of mind when you start leaving her in her own room.



Good Luck!

Kate CP - posted on 02/15/2011

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If she's wanting to get out of bed maybe she wants to sleep in her own bed? I'm not knocking co-sleeping AT ALL but sometimes kids give you cues that they are ready to sleep alone.

Mona - posted on 02/15/2011

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Kids never cry "for nothing". It may not be something big or obvious, but she is troubled. Without knowing more about the situation, all I can say is comfort her without making too big a deal about it or "rewarding" the behavior by letting her get out of bed.
My 18 month old son went thru a similar thing and the only way I could keep him in bed was to lie down with him until he went back to sleep. Used up my evenings for several weeks.
Patience and consistency are the key factors.

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