my 2 1/2 year old i s uncontrollable!! i cry thinking about what i'm doing wrong what i should be doing please help!! his temper is terrible, he doesnt listen and im at the end of the rope...
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Neva - posted on 08/05/2011
They don't call them the terrible two's for nothing. Children this age usually throw temper tantrums when they don't get their way. They usually increase when the child is tired or hungry. You have to remember that children this age don't have the language to express what they are feeling so they will throw a tantrum out of frustration. The important thing is to not give him attention for a tantrum, and if he is throwing one because he isn't getting his way, don't give into him. That way he will figure out that he will eventually get what he wants by throwing a fit. You must be consistent and not allow him to hit, bite or kick. If he does these things, you tell him "no hitting" and put him in a time out (a chair, step, or spot on the floor, not his room) immediately. If he get up out of time out, you just simply put him back on the spot without talking to him. The first time you do this it may take a while, so be prepared, but you must win. Keep putting him back in time out until he finally stays, then set a timer for 2 minutes. When the timer goes off go to him, explain that he is in time out for hitting, kicking, whatever and that every time he does that he will be in time out. Then have him say he's sorry. Hug him and let him get up. Don't expect instant results. Children don't have impulse control until they are about 5, but if you are consistent, he will finally realize that he's not getting attention for his tantrums. Also make sure to give him lots of attention when he is doing things right. If he is tired or hungry have him take a nap (children this age still need to sleep about 13-14 hours every day) or give him a healthy snack or feed him his meal. Try to keep a routine to his day, so that he knows what to expect. Children need to have consistency in their day. Don't ever reward a tantrum by giving him what you think he wants. If he is trying to ask for milk say and he immediately starts throwing a fit, say tell him that he needs to use his words and that he needs to ask nicely and don't give into him until he does. Children are smart enough to know what works and will use that. If temper gets them attention and what they want they'll use that. If you don't respond to temper but respond to calm talk, they will figure out that too.
Tawana M - posted on 09/26/2012
my son is two and is very active, he isn't talking yet so i know that he just dont understand. when we go place's he fall out an cry, kick, scream and he just go on an on! at story time he do not sit like the other kid's. I dont let that bother me because he is only two year's old, an i know that he will start talking and grow out of what he is going threw. i dont care about the look's that i get from other people. HE is my out on control two year old an i love him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Katherine - posted on 08/08/2011
I have a 2.5 year old too. She has tantrums, she doesn't listen....but she can talk. So she can tell me why she's upset.
I agree with Catherine, if his language skills aren't there try to teach him sign. I also agree with Neva about the being hungry and tired part. My daughter eats like there's no tomorrow.
How do you handle the situation?
Catherine - posted on 08/08/2011
My third daughter was very advanced with her speech at two. From her I learnt that toddlers are often trying to tell us much more than just 'I want'. It could be they want your feedback about a flower they saw on a label (just for example), and when they don't have the language to express this, they become quickly frustrated, which they can't deal with, and melt-down.
This probably doesn't help in the moment, but is worth considering with regards what triggers his tantrums.
I know some people swear by teaching babies and toddlers sign language as a way around this.
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