Stephanie - posted on 03/19/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )
My son is now two and a half, I chose a really good reviewed pre-school to send him to, the last daycare was so "sketchy" so I sought out to find a reliable, trustworthy, compatible, responsible pre-school for my son. He has been there for 8 months. Everything has been a dream come true with them and his class up until this last month. My son is well known and liked by his classmates, my son is smart, he also is not an angry kid nor does he ever act out in a bad way. I honestly have been very blessed with an amazing behaved child. I'm not sure why or how but I do consider myself very fortunate to have a child like this. The daycare he attends has Nanny Cams, so I can watch him from the app on my iPhone at anytime of the day anywhere he is, Class, Lunch, Playground etc which makes me feel at such peace and gives me a sense or security of coarse. Within this last month everything has gone downhill at school. This "new" kid started in my sons class, he has been an issue from the day he started. I would log on while I was at work to watch my son and would see this new kid forcefully taking toys not only from my son but other classmates as well. He would throw things into the floor, and push other children down. One day I was picking my child up with the new kid pushed another one of my sons classmates into the floor and hit him in the back, I said something about it immediately! My son has never behaved the way this kid does nor has my son been around ANYONE who acts this way. The teachers started to relay other things this boy was doing when I would drop my son off, they also said they were pretty positive this new kid was a (Closet Bully) ...they knew he picked on my son and the other children and said they had discussed with his mother what was going on. Well I feel like his mother just doesn't care, she is just a "different" parent I guess, she is more rough and yells at her child upon picking up. This child has tried to steal my sons toys that he owns that I have bought for my son that he puts up In his cubby upon arriving at school, the child forcefully tried ripping my sons leap pad out of his hand. I said "no no that's his". Those issues havnt been such a problem up until two weeks ago this child has gone from coming only once a week to literally EVERYDAY! The child has also started biting my sons classmates and quiet a few of them, I wasn't even aware until one day my son was bit!! I was so profoundly angry upon finding this out. I had a talk basically a "sit down" with the manager/owner and teachers of the daycare about this child. They believe some things are going on in the home but can't be sure or not. They said they have noticed an aggressively negative change in the child. I made it clear that I was very worried for my sons safety not only after being bullied but bitten. I am afraid he will bite my son in the face or one of the other children in the face. The daycare said they have talked to the mother and if she choosers not to send her child to behavioral therapy (like I suggested) they will let him continue to stay. They are not taking any actions to remove this bully from their center. This kid has caused nothing but trouble and is very negative. Most parents that have kids who bite such as this child will try to justify the behavior and say "oh their just trying to express themselves or well another child stole a toy FROM HIM" well that's not the case this child is the ONE stealing toys from others. Also I believe biting may be a form of expression i.e. Frustration when one years old or younger or even one and a half, but by the time the child is two ESPECIALLY two and a half, I have read and talk to my sons dr that biting becomes a form of bullying and control to get what they want by the time their two. My son has NEVER bitten a day in his life and I feel it's because I've raised him really well and when he does act up what form of discipline I use actually works for him. My son is very compassionate for such a young age. It's hard for me to go to work now and not worry for his safety. I don't feel at peace anymore, especially since the daycare tolerated bullying and bitting and isn't going to remove the other child. Other parents are concerned as well as me. It is hard for me to keep my cool because I so badly want to pull his mother aside and tell her that the daycare is not a safe place with her child coming to it, and she needs to seek out serious behavioral therapy. I want to scream, I find it ridiculous that anyone would ever try to justify biting!!!! If my son did that I would whip him and although it would be hard I would remove him from the daycare he was hurting other children and not let him go back to one until it stopped. Why don't most moms who have kids as biters just remove their child from the daycare center? Are they that selfish that they continue to send their kids even after other methods have been tried at the center for stopping it? If it takes them to quit working and stop sending their kid to the place they are hurting other kids to find all the help they can get then they need to do it. I don't know whether to remove my son or what!!!!