My 2 month old's dad wants me to wean her how to regain peace after I said no?

June - posted on 08/06/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My daughter will be 2 months in a few days and her father wants me to start giving her formula. This all started last week while his sister was watching her my daughter did not take the bottle of my breast milk. Then it accelerated from their. She told him and he went off the deep in. Making statements like she need to go on formula because he think she is dependent on my breast. Which is not the case. I’ve been breastfeeding and pumping since she’s been one week old. But, now it’s a problem he say. He stated that I was being selfish by only feeding my 2 month old breast milk. But the main thing I keep hearing from him is that he feel like he wont be able to spend time alone with her. That he don’t want to be dependant on me for breast milk. Needless to say, we had a huge argument mainly him and he hung up in my face. Me the peace maker called back after awhile and he sent me to voicemail. I explained to him everything and tried to calm his concerns and reassure him everything will be okay. Just to be patient until she is at least 6 months - 12 months. But, he still refuses to hear and still rejects my phone calls. In need of peace so what to do?

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June - posted on 08/06/2012

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Thank you, and the point you made about the bottle formula is what I was thinking as weel. As far as when he has her I did provide more than enough milk for the time he had her. Thanks again

Dove - posted on 08/06/2012

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If she refused the bottle of breast milk from his sister then I'm willing to bet she 'probably' would've refused a bottle of formula as well.

He can not force you to wean and you should not worry about being a peacemaker when he is behaving so foolishly immature. As long as you are providing him with a bottle when he has time with his child... it's none of his business or concern how long you choose to breastfeed her.

She IS dependent on your breast. She's 2 months old and that's the way it 'should' be. Hang in there! You are doing nothing wrong!

Angela - posted on 08/06/2012

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You're not too clear in your post - are you still in a relationship with your child's father? I just get the impression you are not.

You need some endorsement and verification from an expert that your child will get the best possible start on YOUR milk rather than from formula milk. Does his sister formula-feed her own children? I have noticed that some women who formula-feed their children can be quite defensive about this and are keen to find negative aspects of breast-feeding. This may be because they have been exposed to "breastfeeding bullies" (sadly such women DO exist!). There are a few reasons why formula-feeding can be a better option for SOME mothers and babies and I personally would NEVER feel it would be right to marginalise anyone for the way they fed their baby.

I certainly wouldn't formula-feed if both you and your baby are happy with breastfeeding. Well done for pumping by the way! My children were breastfed and I had no patience with pumps as I found it so slow and with such a low yield so I just stuck to breastfeeding "direct" and then once in a blue moon when I needed to be away from my baby I used formula.

Stick to your guns. A TV documentary which was aired in the UK a few years ago took specimens of women's breastmilk to prove there were impurities and even some toxins contained therein. The breastfeeding mothers were notified and they all went right on breastfeeding. There was an announcement at the end that the proportion of impurities and/or toxins any woman may have in her breastmilk would vary depending on her environment etc. Then they went on to say that despite any negative components that may be present in breastmilk, it was still far, far superior to formula.

Your child's father DOES have the right to voice his objections, however he does NOT have the right to insist you abandon breastfeeding. To be honest, breastmilk was not designed to be drunk from a bottle anyway! Good luck!

Amy - posted on 08/06/2012

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Stop trying to be a peacemaker to someone who obviously is acting childish! Also stop having his sister watch the baby if she's going to stir up trouble use someone else. Clearly you know all the benefits of breastfeeding, you have expressed milk, maybe another sitter will have a little more patience than his sister.

Gabrielle - posted on 08/06/2012

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I totally understand that. As long as she takes the bottle that is fine. She is only 2 months old. She is going to go thru times when all she wants is the boob or the bottle. He is being very selfish and I dont think its right. He must have been a bottle baby because he does not understand that breast feeding is best for mommy and baby. My husband just had a problem with me breast feeding in public like at walmart or when we would go out to eat but there are times where it feels like your breasts are going to kill you if you DONT breastfeed. It is your decision as the baby's mother. Be strong and tell him to fuck off if you have to.

June - posted on 08/06/2012

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No we are no longer together. Also, his job transfered him back home. But, my thing is she is fine and growing. Her Doctor say she is perfect. As far as my milk, I pump, store and feed her. I see no need to give ger formula if their's no cause for it.

Gabrielle - posted on 08/06/2012

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I take it you and him are not together. With both of my children I did both breast milk and formula. That way if I wasn't around to pump or we didnt have any breast milk in the fridge/freezer my husband or any1 else that was around could still feed them. I never would breast feed in front of my husbands family but was fine doing it in front of any1 else. Sometimes breast milk wouldn't fill their tummies so we needed to use formula. My milk ran out around 4 months with my second so I had togo to formula anyway.

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