My 2 sons and my boyfriend don't get along

Patricia - posted on 11/05/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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A VERY long story short, my two sons (24 and 23) and boyfriend (38) don't get along. They have stopped talking to each other for the last 1-2 months. My two sons and daughter (21) spoke to me about 3 months ago telling how they don't like him and a bunch of other stuff relating to how i "spoil" him and how he inconveniences my 2 sons. My eldest seems to be leading the charge although my youngest is neutral and friendly.
It seems my two sons are going to move out any day if i basically don't tell him to leave. my 2 sons have the means to just make it on their own and my boyfriend has no financial worries. I've been with my boyfriend for about 5 years and hes lived in my basement (pays rent) for the last 3 years.

I don't know what to do. my home has become so tense and its so devastating to see. i feel that any day a big fight will break out between them, physically. i wish i could provide so much more detail but there is just so much to tell.

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Alvia But I Go By GEAN - posted on 11/05/2013

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There are good kids is not the issue. N u have raised them to be. But when will u draw the line. And you have to pray about this mostly. N if what you are not telling us is an issue. Well its hard to say without knowing the whole story. But what remains is that u r grown. Do they have girlfriends.

Michelle - posted on 11/05/2013

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Your son's are adults, it's time they left home.
I had moved out of home at 18 and have never looked back. If your children were dependents then it would be a different story and yes, it could look like you are choosing your boyfriend over your children but since they are adults, it's your chance to find happiness for yourself.
Do you want to be all alone just because your adult children didn't like your partner?
I don't like my mother's husband but he has done things to family members that I can't forgive. I am still civil with him though. I think your children also need to act like adults and let you be happy.
Let them know if everyone can't get along then it's time for the kids to move on with their lives.

Patricia - posted on 11/05/2013

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they are good kids, literally, dont get in trouble, do good in school and like i said theres alot more to the story but i will say both parties dont exactly ease the situation.
after 2 comments it sounds like i should just let them leave then, they both just started working and i know it would tough on them to live on their own. wouldn't i be a bad mother for essentially choosing my boyfriend over them just because they are in their early 20s?

Alvia But I Go By GEAN - posted on 11/05/2013

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Tell your sons to get a life. And what makes you happy. So have the idea if marriage ever came up.

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