My 2 year old and 3 year will not stop fighting

Leanne - posted on 06/05/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




Please can somebody give me some advise or solutions that they know works for sure, my two girls fight, bicker, and wind each other up from morning till bed time unless we are out doing child activities such as park, play centers, zoo etc.

Within 5min or as soon as we arrive home they are at it again, they argue over everything, always want what the other one has and goad each other when one of them has the desired object. They seem to be so jealous of each other. "look what i have my one is bigger/better than yours is what i hear or i have more than you even with something like sweetcorn at dinner time.

I am really struggling with this, it is getting me down. In the past as long as i am consistent with them and choose a method i feel is right for them it has worked, For the past week i have been on my computer researching as I have been in tears because i have yelled, or told them off loudly. I know shouting doesn't work, makes them sad and teaches them it is OK to shout and i do not want to lower their confidence. At first I just used to take them to the thinking step, talk to them ask 'how do you think the other feels when you snatch or hit',as it was just a bit more than i would give leeway 4 as kids do fight. But it just keeps escalating I tried confiscating what ever was causing the argument this made them worse and one of them would be left unfairly punished, then this month i have been trying time out in separate rooms this stops the fighting for around 20min at best

I just feel like I am going mad, I can't even cook dinner without at least 3 or more times of having to stop them. Their fighting started around 3 months ago they used to play lovely together or alone but in the same house, when we are indoors or in our garden they still fight, even when we are doing stuff like painting or sticking or on the computer. Their dad co-runs a bar so he has an unusual work pattern some days some nights and only 1 full day off a week so getting alone time with each child is difficult. Their behavior in general seems to be worsening I think it is because I am so stressed with constant fighting, My girls are lovely caring gentle girls when they are not fighting with each other, I don't know what went wrong, also when 1 is without the other and I take them out, the behavior is amazing its like a dream but when together getting them dressed is a war and they don't listen and try to wind me up they also do this to their Nan sometimes I am at wits end i don't feel my children are happy when they are together and are starting dislike each other even when they are apart they used to miss each other it is so sad.

sorry for how long the post is.


~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/06/2013




Well, this is pretty typical for this age, and being siblings. Do what you have been doing, get them out of the house and keep them busy. Even if it is just in the back yard. But the key, is getting down with them and playing. Teaching them how to play in general, but also with eachother. You can do things like if one of them wants what the other has (happens all the time, even with my 7yr old son, and my 3 yr old daughter) give them a time limit on how long each gets it, and then they pass it to the other one. A realistic time like 5 minutes. Even if you have to set a timer so they know it is time to share. Talk nicely, talk about sharing, and teach them. They will fight. That is typical. My daughter brings my son to tears constantly. I hate it. It is so hard to deal with. But keeping them active is the key, so is actually getting down with them.

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