My 2 yr old is very aggressive. Hits and spits when angry or frustrated. Anyone have any insight?

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Julia - posted on 12/12/2010

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my boy's 10 now and he used to be like that at 4/5 but it was me a focused on he would just wail on me anytime we went out- ANYTIME. and people would look and whisper :(. i went to doctors specialits and ............................. i got into angel healing, crystals and energy working. I have found that my son at 10 is wonderful my rock and angel ♥ we do both western and spiritual healing with tremendous results. He will tell you its his mother earth and the angels helping him and he always has his rock(crystal) i was at witts end and our society is so quick to look and judge and blame mum - dont dispare try everything and never give up :)

User - posted on 11/18/2008

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2 yr olds don't know how to express their feelings very well so we have to teach them. i believe that play is the best way to teach a child, its their way to verbalize what they are going through. you can play with your child using puppets or stuffed animals and teach him/her how to show feelings positively. give the feeling a name so he/she can associate the feeling with a word.."you feel angry when..." tell him/her that it's not okay to hit or spit, but it is okay to say "i'm mad" and ask for help from an adult. replace the negative behavior by teaching the positive or desired behavior...do this in your play with your child and then if you can have other children come to play, you can stay close by and coach your child through their interactions with other children by telling him/her exactly what to do if a conflict comes up. it won't work right away, it will take time, patience, and practice,,,but the more you practice the better your child will get at it. remove him/her from a situation if he/she cannot calm down or use positive skills and tell them that they are being moved to time out or whatever because it is not okay to hit/spit/etc. just stay calm and firm when you are doing this and eventually it will improve!! good luck :)

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Heather - posted on 11/19/2008

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This can be frustrating, It will only get WORSE if not addressed. I had the same problems with my son, when things didn't go his way he would act out. I asked about 5 PCP's and had tests and evaluations done because he would not listen and he was always ANGRY. Finally he was diagnosed after 3 years at age 5 with ADHD with the severity of IMPULSIVE. (spitting, biting, angry, hitting, etc.) I'm not stating that this is your son's problem by any means but if you are trying everything in your power and nothing is working, I would reccommend professional help and please don't be afraid to demand it. Since I got my son diagnosed and on the right track with a therapist and meds he has completly turned around in to a HAPPY, good child. He just had no way of dealing with frustration and he was very impulsive and it is not their fault but definitly do whatever you can to make sure he stops this so it doesn't get worse!!

User - posted on 11/18/2008

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I have a 18 month old who also hits. He is in an AMAZING Private Preschool and the teachers have explained very well that at this time in their life they can not use words to express their feelings so many times it comes out in other ways.. Frustration is what they are feeling.

They and I have purchased some cute books on hitting and biting etc and I read them to him. They suggest always letting the child know that it "hurts" when they hit and be consistent with that message.

I think its a phase but its a tough one to get thru. Just know you are not alone :)

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