my 20 y/o is rude,disrespectful and always tells me that I am a bad mother and she resents me

Omy - posted on 11/14/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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my daughter wants to come and go home anytime as she pleases. She does nothing.When reprimanded, she tells me I am a bad parent, and she resents me more than anyone in her life. She blames me for her failures as well as friends who unfriended her. I do everything for her, give her my car to go anywhere but she still shouts at me and tell me lies and all hurtful things you can think about. She never backchats her dad and she is scared of him. I am now at the most depressed state and do not know how to handle this situation

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Dove - posted on 11/14/2016

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If she does not have a job and is not paying rent... give her her 30 day notice to be working and paying rent or to find alternate living arrangements. It sounds like she has no reason to respect you since you let her walk all over you... and likely have for a long time. There should have been a contract written up and signed by all the adults in the house when she turned 18 outlining all of her rights and responsibilities to continue living in your home. If you don't have one... sit down as soon as possible and get it done. Then it will be her choice to follow the contract or get out.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/14/2016

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I agree with the others. You have raised her to be the way she is.

Tough love now, or plan for this to continue

Michelle - posted on 11/14/2016

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I agree with Dove.
You said it yourself, you have done everything for her. You haven't taught her to stand on her own so that when she does have failures (and she will as that's life) she will blame you.
Draw up the contract and it's time for some tough love. She needs to be able to survive this world on her own and you giving her everything doesn't teach her that.

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