My 21 year old kid is making me crazy.

Bridget - posted on 06/12/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have a 21 year old who will not leave. He has only had 2 jobs his entire life, each of which only lasted less than 3 months. He quit both jobs because they were getting ready to fire him for being tardy and calling in sick anyway. His stepdad and I are very much in love, but the tentsion about my grown son is taking a toll. I have given him every opportunity to find employment. Putting in applications for him, driving him around, even gave him a FREE car and he lost his license for driving around with marijuana in the car. I have paid all his traffic tickets, I went out of my way to make sure he graduated high school, even doing the work myself. I have spoiled him his entire life, so I know I have asked for much of this. But enough is enough. He steals from me, he lies to me, and makes every excuse known to man why he cannot find work. Not to mention he dresses like a dirtbag and keeps getting tattoos and piercings which makes NO ONE want to hire him. I buy him nice clothes, he trashes them. He refuses to clean up after himself. I gave him the nicest bedroom in the house and he has broken the window, the door, the ceiling fan, refuses to stop smoking cigarettes in the room, and likes to carve into the woodwork because he's BORED. This is all just the tip of the disrespectful iceberg with this kid. The only saving graces is that he hasn't reproduced...yet. Although he loves to date trashy women and has contracted chlamydia, which is very lucky for him seeing the scum he hangs around with. He has brought fleas, lice and even bedbugs into my house just because of the disgusting creatures he hangs around with. I have kept him around this long just out of fear of what would happen to him if I threw him out. I have had a brother die of an overdose and drug anuse and alcoholism runs deep in both sides of his family. But I cannot take it anymore. I feel I have done everything I can for him and it's time for him to either sink or swim. My guilt is overwhelming and I have cried myself to sleep at night on countless occasions just worried about how he will survive. His father is, and will always be, no help to me or him. My parents are dead, who were his biggest allies and more than helped making him the irresponsible, lazy and self-entitled person he is today. I had to live with my parents after my divorce and was treated like my son's sister as I was not able to discpline him or raise him the way I wanted. I was always trumped by my mom, who lavished him with gifts and money and yelled at me, right in front of him, whenever I would try and make him stand on his own for anything. So, he has no one except for me, but I am SO done. I feel like I have raised him and it's time for me and my husband to live our lives the way we want. We have no privacy, we have to hide all our stuff just to keep him from stealing it, and the lies this boy tells would choke a horse. I am legally evicting him. I have evicted people from homes before, and I know the process. I have given him 30 days to get out. I then have to give him a 3 day notice to start the eviction process. After tham it will be about 4 weeks beore the baliff will come and forcible remove him, if need be. I don't know if I am prepared for that, but do I have a choice? We are not wealthy people and we can no longer afford 3 adults in this house and only 2 of us working. He sleeps all day and complains when I ask him to the littlest chore. He feels he chould be PAID for doing anything. And me, like an idiot, has paid for ALL of his needs, even his cigarettes, for so long now he just expects it. So when I tell him, "No, I have 14 bucks in my checking account and I don't get paid for 3 days." or anything along those lines, he yells at me and scolds me for being "bad with money." I know...the nerve, right?! I have put up witht his behavior long enough, but the guilt is killing me. How will I bear to watch the court baliff physically remove him, which I fear it will come to? I am so heartbroken and just looking for anyone who is in a similiar situation or any advice. Help!


Michelle - posted on 06/12/2014




I agree with Evelyn. You have said yourself that you have made him this way so now you need to be tough and stand your ground. Let him know that you won't be walked over anymore.

Ev - posted on 06/12/2014




You have answered your own questions basically by saying that you have allowed him to grow up this way and as a teen in high school doing his work so he could graduate, also still buying his cigarettes and other things he should be more than able to do for himself. Go through the process of eviction. Make him learn that you are not going to be there for everything nor that he is entitled to what he did get in the past. Make him live as a man not a child. Its called tough love.


View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms