My 22 month old hits :(

Khara - posted on 05/15/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My 22 month old has this thing that when he dose not get his way or when he get's mad he decides to hit me!! I know that he is not yet at the age where he can totally communicate with myself and my husband , and that alot of kids at this age do the same!!!! what might be the best way to curve or eliminate this type of behavior???:)

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Kimberly - posted on 12/16/2011

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This very thing just happend to me. My daughter wasn't getting her way, and she actually slapped me in the face. (first time she has done that, she is 22 months)- I immediately told her that we do not hit, and then she did it again!! Yikes!! I then told her she needed to have a little time out, so I put her in the hall corner. She stood there, and started to laugh. I told her in a serious/firm voice that we don't use our hands to hit, and that was naughty of her to hit mommy, and that we use our words. She proceeded to laugh, and walked out of the corner, I took her hand and told her to go back, which I placed her, and then I stood a few feet away from her. She started crying, and I told her she just needed to stay there for a minute and just kept repeating that we don't hit. After about 2 minutes, I went to her and hugged her. I got down to her level and asked her to look at mommy. When she did I reiterated that hitting wasn't nice, and that she has "sweet hands" and to for her to show them to me, which she does. I told her to say she was sorry to mommy, which she did, and then I asked for a kiss, and gave her a big hug and kiss. I hope I did the right thing. I am a first time mom, and I often hope I am saying and doing the right things. She is testing the boundaries a lot lately, so now i feel I need to start to implement the time outs, since we had never had to do it before and actually thought she was too young to understand, but she is a toddler now, and I feel it's important for them to know when they do something wrong so they learn from it. All the best!!

Tamara - posted on 05/17/2010

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What we did w/my daughter from an early age is emphasize gentle touching. When she hit, we'd take her hand and stroke our faces telling her "gentle." Than we'd stroke her face and tell her "gentle" She eventually got it. We're starting to have hitting issues at 2 1/2 so we acknowledge her frustration and remind her we use gentle touches and that hands are not for hitting and than redirect her to express her frustration in a more constructive way. HTH.

Selma - posted on 05/17/2010

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You could try ignoring him when he does the things you don't want him to do like the hitting and when he does something good reward him so that he can realise that he will get what he wants if he behaves

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When my son does this - and it is obvious to me that he is just expressing not getting what he wants - I pick him up straight away and take him to his room, turn the light on and shut the door and leave him for no more than two minutes.

When I pick him up I say quietly we don't do hit, when you hit you will go to time out. And that's it. With out fail he comes out calm but the best part if that I am not engaging in his behaviour, not getting involved in any arguments, not yelling, not raising my voice and the two minutes gives me a chance to regroup and catch my breath. When he comes out I give him my hand and I ask him if he is ready to go to something else and be good now. And he always is.

My son is two young to say sorry - at twenty three months he can hardly talk but I let him know that he has hurt me and that I would like a love to make me feel better and this is nice for both of us.

Nicole - posted on 05/16/2010

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I totally feel your pain. My son is 27months old and hits me and his sister when he doesn't get his way and it's starting to happen more and more as he gets older. I usually get down to his level and look him in the eye and say we don't hit and this is not how we act to get what we want and make him apologize. Sometimes I use timeout if he is really acting out. Unfortunatly this isn't a behavior that goes away over night, but don't worry as he gets older it will be easier to teach him that hitting is not o.k. Good Luck!

Jessica - posted on 05/15/2010

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Yes, it is difficult! It seems like you are never going to get through to them but soon enough he is going to get it!! It will stop and than something new will arise. =/

Khara - posted on 05/15/2010

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Yes I agree with all that but sometimes it is soooooooo hard to just very quiet and calmly sit him down and talk in a low voice and explain to him what he has done wrong cause the only response I get is " ra ra ba ba gooooooooo mama, nice nice" and then an hour later he dose it again!!:0

Jessica - posted on 05/15/2010

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Well Khara like you said all Toddlers hit because they don't know how to work things out when they're upset, so they physically act out. What you should do is calmly stop him, and ask him what's the matter, even if you know. Have him apologize and articulate why ("because I hit you"). Then accept his "sorry." Don't be surprised if he lashes out at you. It's common for the first person to get hit will be who he is closest to. Dont we all know love hurts but turning the pain into a learning experience can help you both in the long run.

Khara - posted on 05/15/2010

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YESSSSSSSSS that's crazy cause he dose the same to me!!!!!! He hits me more than my husband!!!!

Danielle - posted on 05/15/2010

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My 17 month old does the same thing!! The maddening thing is that he does it me but not to daddy! When he hits I say "No hitting. Not nice" and then either hold his hands til he calms a bit or if he is really riled up and I am holding him, I put him down and then give him a cuddle after he stops doing it. It is a hard behavior but know you aren't on your own : )

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