My 22 year old son moved out on his own 5 months ago. He's only visited me 2 times and rarely ever calls me. I never imagined this happening and it really BREAKS MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Firebird - posted on 01/20/2013
When I was 17, I left home. I was so busy working and trying to learn how to be an adult that I honestly never thought to call my family. I lived with my mom my whole life, I was never in the habit of calling her on the phone just to say hi. I moved too far away to visit regularly. I was out on my own for at least a year before I got into the habit of calling home regularly.
Dove - posted on 01/20/2013
Did you guys have a falling out and he's avoiding you? Or is he just busy living his life?
I don't doubt that you miss him after spending 22 years raising him and now not having him around all the time, but he's a grown man trying out his own life. Maybe you can call him every week or two and invite him out to lunch or dinner once a month. Let him know that you love and support his new adventure in life, but you'd still like to keep in regular contact to catch up with each other.
Jodi - posted on 01/20/2013
I agree with you giving him a call every now and then. I am sure the fact that he never calls is nothing to do with you, but rather, just him getting busy and involved in his own life, and just never quite gets around to it. When I left home at 18, it was usually my parents who called me, and not so much the other way around. These days, it is a bit more equal, but it comes and goes, depending on who is the busiest at the time!!
Doreen - posted on 01/20/2013
Thank you "ladies" for your response to my issue regarding my son. You gave me better clarity on it all. I know that he loves me. His dad and I are also separated in our marriage and that happened 1 month after my son got his own place. I'm sure that plays a role in it too; however, I'm not sure exactly "what role".
Ev - posted on 01/20/2013
Slow down mom, and take a few breaths! First, he is trying out his new wings. Second, he can not call you every minute or hour of everyday. Third, he is learning to live his life away from you. Fourth, You could reach out to him more often.
He is 22. I have one that is 23. At 21, she decided she was going to get married and moved off though she is still close. I do not see her all the time like I would want to. But she has a new life of her own. She also has a new daughter too. Its not easy to let them go. Sometimes we parents have to take the initial move in keeping up contact with our kids. They are still just babies when it comes to living on their own and remembering to call mom or dad everyday is going to be hit and miss at best. He has his friends and work I am assuming so he is busy. If he is in school too that will take his time.
My suggestion is to call him and if you have to leave a voice mail and even text messages, invite him to dinner so you can see him. Talk to him and tell him how you feel about his not calling or coming by more often. I am in my 40's and I call my parents a few times a week and when I can go to stay for the weekend with them. I also have another child too. I have a full plate with work and going to school too.
We just have to learn to get on with our own lives!
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