My 23 year old son died

Melissa - posted on 02/15/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )

3

0

1

On January my 23 year old son died. He was caught up in a gang shootout. The gangster survived, but my son was shot death on the spot. I experience emotions of disbelief, depression and two types of guilt. I find it hard to return to work.

3 Comments

View replies by

Pam - posted on 02/16/2016

4

0

1

I am so sorry for your loss. A response you hear over and over because what can one say to a mother that has loss her son. The pain sometime is so unbearable it is hard to breathe. I have lost 2 sons our oldest son was from my husbands first marriage and our youngest son who is the child we had together. Our oldest in a gang, after 3 years of fighting for his life in prison. Took his own life within a year of being home. Our youngest was addicted to prescription drugs lost his battle 6 weeks before his brother. Our children may have died under different circumstances but the out come is the same. We are both mother's who will not see their sons grow old. Seeing young men go about their everyday lives, laughing, holding hands with their girlfriends tear me apart. I think why not my sons. But then I think if they were gone their mothers would be the ones in so much pain. I can't say I know the answers, we all have to walk the path that we have been given. But I do know we don't have to walk it alone. Jesus said he will never leave us nor forsake us. I found some christian women speakers (Priscilla Shirer I really like); that I like, most everyone is on you tube now, I would listen to them, especially at night. I pray, go to a christian counselor. It is ok to be angry, have guilt, each emotion that you need to feel and go through. Just don't stay in any to long. Remember Jesus said he would carry you but you have to let him. Pam

Melissa - posted on 02/15/2016

3

0

1

Thank you Raye

I must go back to work, but I experience emotions of anxiety because the school's where I teach are in the area where he was shot. So I will be confronted by the school children and the thought makes me want to vomit, my stomach hurts, but I must go back. Thank once again Raye

Raye - posted on 02/15/2016

3,761

0

21

I'm sorry for your loss.
My step-brother was killed in a convenience store robbery when he was in his twenties. It's very hard to see lives taken so young. You do need to find help for yourself, though. Counseling, or a trusted friend to talk to, can work wonders. You have to let go of guilt. There are a million things that might have happened differently leading up to his death, but you can't be responsible for that. You can't change anything, and it's such a waste for you to also give up on living your life because he's now gone. I know it feels sort of selfish. But you do have to take care of you, and get yourself back on track. Otherwise it's two lives (his and yours) that will have ended, and that is even more tragic.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms