my 24 year old son still lives at home and goes to college since 2009

Sandra - posted on 08/06/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )




I love my son, but he expects me to do everything for him!! He is attending college and hopefully he'll graduate in december. He has been going to college since graduating high school in 2009!! He only worked one summer before his freshman year, and gets pell grants and student loans which he uses for video games and restaurants. He doesn't clean up after himself and is very argumentative. What can I do? I am sitting here in my bedroom, while he has taken over my living room with a girl he invited over and it is going on 6 hours!! The other day, he had me take him to the clinic for his feet rash and it cost over $300 and he didn't dip into his wallet once!! He lives the life while I am the one who has to pay the price for being mom, his dad has never really been in the picture and its been basically all up to me. If it wasn't for my faith, I would of gone crazy by now....please offer some advise. thank you


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/07/2015




Well, why should he change his lifestyle? It's quite obvious that you've been allowing this to continue indefinitely, without having this person under a contract to live in your home as an adult.
My 21 YO has been living on his own and being completely self sufficient since he was 19, and my 17 YO has a full time job, will graduate HS next spring, and has already set aside his down payment for his chosen flat when he graduates. I had no problem getting them ready to accomplish these things.
So...since you've left it until now, this could be problematic. Start by presenting him with a fair contract to live in your home. If he doesn't want to do that, serve him with an eviction notice by the sheriff's office, which will legally notify him he has a set amount of time to vacate premises. The reason you need an eviction notice is because he's established residence at your home, so now you get to take legal action.

Jodi - posted on 08/07/2015




Of course he still expects you to do everything for have been doing it haven't you? I am frequently baffled why this is such a surprise to parents when this happens.

You know what? I have a 17 year old who does his own laundry (because I won't), gets himself to his sporting and other commitments (because I won't), does chores around the house (because if he doesn't contribute, then it's pretty difficult to justify doing things for him like the dinner I cook for the family), buys many of his own clothes (he has a job, and he has more expensive taste than I'm prepared to support)....and the list could go on.

What you have raised is called a freeloader. Time to toughen up, set house rules, and be the landlord.

Amaze - posted on 08/06/2015




This is increasingly common these days. If your son continues to live with you, you'll need to set certain rules for him. Have you heard about the book, Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children by Allison Bottke? It might give you some ideas to better handle your situation.

Michelle - posted on 08/06/2015




Stop doing everything for him.
Sit down and write some house rules out with him. If he doesn't want to live by your rules then he can move out. It's your house so your rules. You shouldn't have to sit in your bedroom because he has a girl over.
He's an adult and if he wants to be treated like one then be needs to act like one. If he wants to be treated like a child then he needs to live by your rules.

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