My 25 year old son

Tracey - posted on 01/26/2016 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Doesn't have the confidence to spread his wings and fly...he seems to think he has autism!

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Sarah - posted on 01/27/2016

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Sometimes fear can really hold a person back. If you are confident he is not autistic, or has any other issue; set a date for him to have a job and become a contributing member of the household or he ca move out. A little tough love?

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Heather - posted on 01/27/2016

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Tell your son that he hit all his milestones as a child (walking, talking, and etc.) and if he had autism it would show as a small child.
I have a friend with tourettes, aspergers, AND autism. He is 22 years old and lived on his own since he was 16 years old. Got himself through high school and works at a factory making great money.
Autism is not an excuse to be lazy and over dependent. Sounds like he may need a talk that revolves around "you do A, B, and C to get yourself together cause you live with me and laziness will not be tolerated. You have X many days to show you are putting in effort to get your own place. If these things do not happen (you fill in blank here) WILL happen."
He is 25 years old and needs to learn the lesson that he HAS to take care of himself cause you will not be there to baby sit him forever.
If it was my child I would calculate how long it would take on the income he has to save a down payment for an apartment close to his work. If he refuses to put in effort take that calculated time and tell him "You should be able to save (dollar amount here) in X amount of months. If you continue to not put in effort to get your own place and be an adult you will have a notice of eviction and will HAVE to leave in so many days.
This MAY seem harsh, but if you don't he will find excuses on why he should stay. Give him a bit of tough love for his own good.

Sarah - posted on 01/26/2016

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If he made it through school without anyone commenting or requesting an evaluation; I'd doubt he is autistic. Why does he think this? what excuse does he make for his lack of independence. Maybe he needs a nudge from the nest.

Jodi - posted on 01/26/2016

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It would be odd for him to self-diagnose autism at 25. I'd say he is looking for excuses. What is he not doing that he should be? Does he have a job? Is he still living at home? What does he not have the confidence to do? Maybe he needs some counselling.

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