My 28 year old son has drug problem.

Norma - posted on 11/06/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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How do i get help for my son. He is just getter worse by the day. He lives with his girlfriend and is self employed. He is missing alot of work and his girlfriend has had enough of him. He does not have any kind of health insurance. I have tried to talk him into going to re-hab and he refuses. He wants things done his way - like a rehab only on weekends and only wants to get methodone for a while. I do not want to give up on him and need some advice. Please help!

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Sue - posted on 11/06/2013

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Hi Norma...I am new to this site and when I first signed on, your post was at the top. My heart goes out to you! I've been there and still am, and I'm going to give you some very strong advice. I hope you will, at least, think about it. Let him go! He wants things on his terms. You've given him your opinion. He won't listen. So, the next time he approaches you, just tell him you love him and he is on his own! He's 28 years old, a man, and when he is ready, he will do something to get help. I wasted 25 years of my life trying to talk sense into, rescue, enable, and all the things we mothers do because we want to spare our children pain. It does NOT work most of the time! I'm 69 now. Seek counsel, set boundaries, don't be afraid to say "no", love him from afar, pray for him. Don't let him manipulate you, threaten you, belittle you. Walk out of the room or kindly tell him you are hanging up the phone! I ignored all that advice. I was so wrong! My son became homeless sleeping in his car, no money, no gas, no food (with diabetes), no insulin, nothing! I had reached the point of being able to let him go to the possibility of death. I had given him some names and places where he could go for help....one was a shelter....but he eventually called for help and his only option was to let us take him to a Home for Addicts and he has been there 1 year. He hasn't spoken to me in 6 months because he is so angry that I finally quit pandering to his wishes and said "NO, I'm sorry, son, but no more". I send him a card about every 4 weeks to remind him of my love for him. I will never give up hope, have shed many tears, pray daily, but am at peace. Peace and pain can be felt at the same time. I don't wake up anymore with expectations for the day. It's real. It's an epidemic. We need to be strong and firm! Not only for them, but for us, as well. We think we are only hurting them by letting them go, but we are really helping. If I'd followed the advice that was given years ago, I may have spared both of us many years of suffering. If not both, at least myself! You take care of yourself and you will be in my prayers. "Is anything too hard for the LORD?" Gen 18:14

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