my 3 and half year old still don't want to go go on potty.

Danielle - posted on 12/11/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My son is three and half and I'm worried that he is still not going on the potty. I've tryed everything it feels and I still ask him if he wants to go on the potty all the time. But he just gets angry about it and doesn't want anything to do with it. Any other moms have any helpful hints or word or advice that have had children this age not trained yet?

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User - posted on 12/11/2011

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Take him in when you go in. You sit, He sits. And don't Ask, Make it a game. Cheerios are fun to aim for. I have 5 boys. They love challenges. And small rewards. Good luck. He will dodo it! :)

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Christina - posted on 12/19/2011

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have you tried letting him run around the house without a diaper on? he may have accidents but my son would potty a couple times a day with a diaper on but then we started letting him run around at home with it off & he peed on the potty 5 times one day (we just started this.)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/19/2011

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Believe me, we have PLENTY of one on one time, even more when they were little. If' I'd started rewarding them for going to the toilet, or doing their assigned chores, they'd be feeling entitled to a "reward" for everything. At that age, we would praise their effort and let them know they were doing a good job. Enough of a reward, I should think, for a bodily function that’s going to happen AT LEAST 3-4 times a day for the rest of their lives.

Now, I have two well raised boys. They don't expect a reward for a job well done, other than verbal praise and recognition that they’ve done something.

If we DO “reward” them, we don’t tell them it’s a reward. For example, my younger son plays in Orchestra. He chose it, he does it. He doesn’t get a “reward” for practicing, other than the one of me not nagging him to do it, and the joy of knowing that he is a productive member of his ensemble. After his concerts, we go to dinner. Not as a reward, but because it’s a nice way to end our evening. One kid told my son that he’d “gladly practice and stuff if MY parents would take me out to dinner after a concert”...to which my son replied “I chose the cello, I have to be responsible and practice it. If I do well, my mom cries. That’s enough for me. We go out to dinner because my parents don’t want to cook so late” Which is exactly true. WE don’t want to start cooking so late that it’s 10 or 11 before we hit the sack.

My main point is this. If you “reward” your child for everything, then they will expect “rewards” their entire life. If you choose to point out the simple joy of doing something, or the necessity, and that everyone has to do things they don’t want to do, you’ll be well ahead of the curve when your kids get to be teens, and you’re having the argument about why they need to do their homework. Otherwise, break out the checkbook folks, because as they get older, the rewards are gonna get more expensive...14 YO’s don’t necessarily like stickers any more...

User - posted on 12/19/2011

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I think that potty training is a rewarding experience for both you and your child. Yes it is a nessesity of life. The cheerio is to improve their aim and to make them what to go. Life is more then have toos. But don't you like to be praised or rewarded for a job well done. I do. Wheather it's a clean sink after doing dishes or good nights rest after a hards day work. Rewards are little things. Like spending time reading a book on moms lap. Going to the bank while mom cashes a check. Or going to the park or play in the snow. One on one time with just that one tot.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/14/2011

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Boy, I was a meanie, I guess...When my (then) 3 yr old told me that the reason he didn't use the toilet was because that's what diapers are for, I threw away the diapers. AND made him help me wash out his accidents. By 3 yrs and 1 week, he was trained.

We didn't do the cheerios in the toilet thing, nor any other form of bribery. I figure this: I don't get paid to use the toilet, I am NOT going to pay my kids. Because, that does bring up the question of when do you stop? Or do you treat if they just try, but don't produce?

I avoided confusion. They're going to have to use a toilet for the rest of their lives. It's not a game, and it's not supposed to be fun, it is a necessity of life.

My oldest trained himself. When he found out (at 2.5 yrs) that he was going to be a big brother, he told me "big brothers use the potty". I got lucky on that one...

User - posted on 12/14/2011

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Yeah!! It's up to you, I'd reward for finished product. Just getting him to realize where the p goes is a great start. And when he Asks and goes in potty is another Yeah day.
Keep up the great work. It takes persistance and patiance.

Danielle - posted on 12/11/2011

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So melody, I took him in both times I had to go and second time he went! SO ThANKYOU! It worked and I gave him a treat! So how long did u continue that for and did u give him a treat for even if he just tryed to go?

Kimberley - posted on 12/11/2011

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my 37 month old doesnt either, I keep gently reminding her that she should peepee on the toilet when I am changing her bum but she just giggles...my 15 y.o. was potty trained nearing 4. I had to force her to sit there. The first day i held her there for 45 minutes, she was screaming and the second day it was less and so on, but she finally got it. It was dificult and I felt like crying but I had no choice, I knew it would hurt her. Remember, what doesnt 'kill' you makes you stronger.

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