my 3 year old daughter doesnt have any maners

Shene - posted on 05/20/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




my daughter is 3 now and she would not liste she would always screem as soon as we go into a shop she will run away and ive given her hidings and also tried real hard to diciplen her, but i dont know what to do any more so she would listen to me, me and her dad is has seperated about 6 months ago and she was never like this so i dont know if iots the seperation that has awaken now, and when she get back from her dad she soes how she wants and "pees" in the bed even so ive taken away he's weekend to just once a week for a day
please tell me what can i do to make her listen.


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/21/2014




Well, to begin with, consistent redirection and discipline from the START of your parenting journey would have helped...

AS it stands now, by taking away 'his' weekends, you're only helping to contribute to parental alienation, and if a court decides it's sufficient, you'll lose custody all together.

You and dad need to step up, be adults, and CO PARENT.

A 3 year old pissing the bed is NORMAL. At 3, they're barely potty trained, and everyone has bladder accidents, even adults, believe it or not! To 'hide' her (I take it you mean you spank her, although 'hiding' in my lexicon was a bloody beating) for something that is completely normal is NOT ok.

First, you need to gain YOUR patience. Consistent reminders, consistent redirection from undesirable behaviours, APPROPRIATE discipline, and rewards for doing well work great at this age. Were I in your shoes, I'd also consider parenting classes, and perhaps some mediation so that you and her father can co parent effectively.

Ev - posted on 05/21/2014




I concur with Jodi. You should have been teacher her as soon as she was big enough to start doing things to show her to do the right thing. Teach her to use her words and teach her how to use them. Repeat phrases and show the meaning often. You can not expect a child to know how to act or what to do at this age because they do not know. That is why we are parents....its our job to make sure that the children know how to be as they grow up.

Jodi - posted on 05/21/2014




Well for starters, if your child has no manners it is not her father's fault, it is a problem that both of you have created. You have no right to "take away" his weekends as a punishment to either him OR her. You don't own the child, she has a father who has rights too. He could take you to court over that and you'd lose.

She is three. It is normal for her to still wet the bed regularly. DON'T PUNISH HER FOR IT.

Secondly, you need to establish strong routines, with consequences for behaviour. Stop hitting her when she misbehaves, you are not modelling positive behaviour. Have you tried actually rewarding GOOD behaviour? How does your 3 year old know what she should be doing if you only punish her for the things she shouldn't be doing. You actually have to help her understand what the right behaviour looks like, which is why you need to use rewards and also model appropriate behaviour. Help her use her words. Often young children scream and tantrum because that's the only way they can communicate. Give her some tools in her toolbox that she can use when she is upset.

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