my 3 year old girl

Tahnee - posted on 10/21/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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is any one else having an issue with their three year old girl being aggressive. my lo will be good throughout the day... but then it starts- that little sparkle in her eye and then... all hell breaks loose- she starts throwing toys at her brother or our puppy, she starts swinging and just goes into a fit of rage out of no where. i don't get it. my husband and i do not fight. we have routines and structure. we have a calm and nurturing environment. I am a stay at home mom and my attention is constantly on both the kids but lately it seems she demands my every minute (which is not fair to my son who is 4) or else she starts doing these destructive things. she will take her cup from the table and spill it on purpose then run in her playroom and grab toys and start chucking them. time out is a joke. literally she just laughs at me. do i need to take her to a councilor or child psych? i have no idea but this is depressing me, i feel like i don't know what to do. i cannot figure out what it is that she needs. i have read article after article on how to deal with an aggressive toddler- i have tried positive reinforcement throughout the day, time outs, talking about why hitting hurts and even checked out books at library to read to her about how hands are not for hitting. is this a phase, will it end and soon?? any suggestions and spanking is not an option because obviously that will make her even more aggressive!!

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Chet - posted on 10/22/2014

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Is this kind of thing always happening later in the day?

If it never happens in the morning, my guess is that she's tired. Kids often become aggressive or have trouble regulating their behaviour when they're tired.

You could also take a look at the book The Highly Sensitive Child to see if she fits that well.

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Tahnee - posted on 10/22/2014

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we have discovered when she is tired is when her episodes are heightened, so we make sure to give her a nap every afternoon. she does not fight us to go to sleep, i just rock her and she falls asleep within 5-10 minutes. even after her nap she will just start doing strange things like hitting or throwing toys at her brother or our dog and then stares at me like "what are you going to do" so i put her in time out and explain to her this is not okay you are a good girl so please act like a good girl ect... maybe this is a phase but im hoping it is not something more serious. thank you for suggesting a book - i just purchased 3 books so hopefully i will get some help.

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