my 3 year old hurts my 6 week old and is becoming out of control.

Lana - posted on 02/11/2015 ( 11 moms have responded )

4

0

1

I have 5 children. A 9 year old son and girls ages 8.6.and 3 and I just had a new baby boy who is 7 weeks. My 3yo is really advanced in every aspect she is more like a 5year old and we are so used to it we kind of always treated her as such. She is a character! And as the baby she likes to taunt the older kids. Get them all riled up and run from them or get them to chase after her. Imagine living with a rambunxous mischevious spider monkey.. that sums her up. She understands what she is doing and everything she does is with purpose. But ever since her baby brother has been home she is becomming out of control. She went from rough housing or taunting then calming down and sitting with her siblings to watch tv to running thru the house kicking things over as she runs by laughing. Intentionally pouring other peoples drinks out on the carpet climbing on dining table and pushing everything off onto the floor then snatching things from the older kids like their homework and quickly throwing it in the toilet while laughing of course and geting in the fridge and breaking all the eggs in the floor. She did all this within 20 minutes today.. and everytime baby was un attended while we all chased after her and cleaned up after her she would take cheep shots at the baby. Put pillows on his face. Smack his head as she runs by. Poke his eye put her finger down his throat she has even stood on the couch next to me and punched baby in the head as hard as she could and jumped away in the same second before I could react. Shes constantly taking his blanket off him and making him cold when hes just in a diaper or un zipping his pjs and opening them up wide and taking his blanket and laying it across his face iv caught her hugging him close and when I look shes blowing in his face so he cant breath.. im soooo exhausted from watching HER. I have woke up at 3 am to find him not by my side. And her sitting in the bedroom floor holding him across her lap.. she loves him. I know she does. Its like she only wants him for herself and nobody else and when people take him from her she punnishes the baby for it.. it is litterally like this 24 hours a day.. I can never rest...what can I do before she seriously hurts him. I caught her tonight she took his diaper off of him and was telling him to pee on himself. And when I yelled for her to get down she punched him in the bare privates and tried to purposly step on his chest before she ran from me. She always does these things and runs. She knows what she is doing is wrong. Omg please help. When she is alone with baby though she picks him up and holds him in her lap . She sings to hin tries to read to him ( by read I mean look at pages in book and make up her own stories to tell him) she turns his swing on and makes it play music for him when hes fussy . Or she will pick him up and carry him to me and tell me to feed him my ChiChi ( hes breastfed) and the acting up and distructiveness usually happens when im breastfeeding and cant respond. I try to include her in as much stuff as possible but that only seems to make her feel entitled to the baby. And when I make one on one time for her she goes right back to the bad behavior immediatly after. And ignoring the behavior just makes her do it more and push the limits..is this nirmal..will she give up..soon.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sandra - posted on 02/12/2015

3

0

0

I think that in this case, honesty being the best policy, this is a little worrying. perhaps it is just a fase but it is certainly unsettling. if the worse comes to the worse then you should consider separating the two, as this behaviour could potentially be traumatic to your son. perhaps your daughter will grow to be more and more powerful if her bloodlust is sated, only time will tell

Jodi - posted on 02/11/2015

3,562

36

3907

I think you need to have a combination of consequences and rewards in place. Have you rtried some reward charts for some positive feedback for when she does the right thing. Sometimes we forget this, and if we don't reward the positive behaviour, and only punish the negative, how can our children know what the right thing is? They don't look at it as, "well I didn't get punished for that so that must be the right thing to do", they really don't. They need it pointed out to them.

I'd also consider time out, followed by discussion about positive behaviours, what you want to see rather than what you don't want to see. How next time, we can do "this behaviour".

Always keep the language positive (eg. "I'd like to see you keep that drink in the cup" rather than "don't spill that drink"). It can be difficult to do when you are in the heat of the moment, but it is important you try to make those changes.

Lucka - posted on 02/11/2015

31

0

2

perhaps after she has sat in the naughty corner then reward her for listening. She seems to only get negativ responses. I know discipline is important but we must look for the positives and shift the chil's focus i reckon..just try it. Trying to help

Lucka - posted on 02/11/2015

31

0

2

I don't think she is being intentionally naughty. Children shouldn't be punished too much but the cause addressed...look for any good she does and reward, reward, reward. It should shift her focus from acting out to seeking reward i think. It seems logical.

Jodi - posted on 02/11/2015

3,562

36

3907

Well, put yourself in her shoes. She was your baby. And by the sound of it, she was a very indulged youngest child for the last 3 years.

Now, this baby has come in and stolen her attention. Yes, she may love him, but that doesn't mean she is happy about what is going on with that. Many of her behaviours sound attention-seeking.

Can I ask what consequences are in place for her behaviour?

11 Comments

View replies by

Dove - posted on 02/13/2015

12,231

0

1353

What DO you do when she does these things? What have you done in the past when she's willfully been torturing the older siblings?

I watched a 3 year old that had a 6 month old sister and he used to be mean to her and my own 3 year old son. I started putting him in time out standing w/ his nose against the wall whenever he would hurt one of them. A bit 'harsh' perhaps, but the fact that he could still hear the other kids having fun, but not SEE them having fun or be allowed to join in on that fun... really got him to quit hurting people faster than anything because he wanted to play.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/13/2015

13,264

21

2015

You allowed her to run wild for 3 years, and from the sounds of it, indulged her every whim. Now you have a baby, and I’m betting that the attention to her was reduced to what it should have been in the first place.
She’s acting out, which is normal. You need to stop giving her the opportunity to be near the baby, to start.
Enforce consequences for behavior, and make sure you recognize her good behavior, but don’t dwell on how good she’s being. Praise her, and keep moving.
When you find that she is hurting baby, CONSEQUENCES. Immediate, and consistent. Even if she ‘jumps away before I can react’…REACT. Let her know that the behavior is unacceptable, and what behavior you need to see from her.

Jodi - posted on 02/12/2015

3,562

36

3907

Yeah, Amanda, because spanking her for hitting her brother is REALLY modelling the behaviour you want and why we shouldn't hit......honestly!!! COMMON SENSE, PEOPLE!!!

Amanda - posted on 02/12/2015

128

0

10

At three years old she's plenty old enough to know she's being mean and shouldn't be doing that. Spank her butt and put her in time out every time she is mean to her siblings.

Lana - posted on 02/11/2015

4

0

1

Time out in room alone. No cartoons. No playing with baby. Early or extra nap and loss of snacks that she likes.

Lucka - posted on 02/11/2015

31

0

2

I think everytime she does something right youy really need to reward her in a big way. She is wanting attention..while you are giving it to the baby then reward the child that is not getting it. my thoughts anyhow. I'm not a psych but it makes sense. no one wants to feel left out.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms