My 3 year old is acting gay

Sonia - posted on 01/19/2015 ( 30 moms have responded )

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I don't know why but my 3 year old boy is always acting like a girl. He wears the girls dresses and crys when I tell him he can't wear them to preschool. This has been happening for a while now since he was born he has always acted feminem and loved barbies, American girl dolls and makeup. He always says that he is a girl and that he's not a boy he also has a huge fascination for mermaids which boys shouldnt. Please help!!!

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[deleted account]

Please support your son and allow him to do what he enjoys. Do not let him know that you think his behavior is abnormal. This could damage his self esteem. If your son is gay or transgender, he will need to know that who he is and speaking openly to his parents about it is not something to be afraid or ashamed of. There is a high suicide rate in LGBT children, especially in those who do not receive the right support. Please put your concerns behind you and enjoy your child. It's better to have a gay/transgender child than to have lost a child. Please watch some videos on youtube about transgender children. They will change the way you think. Perhaps make your doctor aware of the situation as well so that he may advise you in the best possible way.

Jodi - posted on 01/19/2015

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He's 3. let him be. If he ends up later in life identifying himself as a girl, then so be it. The types of toys you allow him to play with and how you allow him to dress will not change that.

And BTW, identifying as being the opposite gender is not the same as being gay, so please stop using the terms synonymously.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/21/2015

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Reading more and more of your posts. You are such a friggin troll it is ridiculous.

Dove - posted on 01/20/2015

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Um.... he's 3. You want to know how many times my son at 3 was in a dress and pigtails and called himself 'Anna'? lol It may or may not mean anything (my son is 7 and all 'boy') or it might mean 'something'. Either way... this is your child and your love for your child should be unconditional. Period.

Jodi - posted on 01/20/2015

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Sonia, you said he is acting gay. Then you said he says he is a girl. Being gay and identifying with the opposite gender (thinking he is a girl) are not the same thing. I'm not having a go at you, I am trying to explain that they are actually two very different things, and if you do focus on his behaviour as gay, you are possibly misinterpreting what is happening. That's all.

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Ashley Mariah - posted on 04/24/2016

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Why can't boys like or love mermaids. They are mythical creatures that anyone can enjoy, so he should be able to love them just as much as everyone else. Also, everything else seems weird, bit could be a phase. But, you have a mother's instinct, trust your gut and do what you feel needed. Sorry I am late.

Dove - posted on 02/01/2016

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The guy bumped up a year old post to post his personal info.... doesn't seem legit to me at all.

Raye - posted on 02/01/2016

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Jace, your advice is helpful, but please remove your personal e-mail address from your response.

Jace - posted on 01/31/2016

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Hey, I'm not a mom, I'm a transgender male son and my name is Jace.
You can't act gay, it isn't an emotion. It is a sexual preference and a three year old probably cannot tell if they want to have sex with a person who has a penis or not, they don't know what sex is in the first place.
Your child could possibly be transgender female, which isn't bad. However, this also could not be related to your child's gender identity at all and could just be preference for cute things like mermaids.
In short, let your kid wear what they want and enjoy what they want.
If you need to ask more, my email is jacelyndotexe@gmail.com

Olivia - posted on 01/22/2015

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so he says he's a girl, oh well, I'm sure it's all just make believe little kids love doing that.

[deleted account]

Everyone seems to be trolling on this site. I'm not sure what they get out of it. If this is a genuine post then sorry Sonia but after reading your other posts, I now doubt your sincerity. I'm definitely not using this site anymore. There are just too many questionable posts, usually pertaining to sensitive topics that people should not be using to gain whatever benefit this site offers for writing popular posts. I've wasted too much time writing sensible, empathetic answers to a load of bunk. Goodbye Circle of Moms!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/21/2015

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I'm with Evelyn...Don't label him so early, not for normal behaviours!

Ev - posted on 01/21/2015

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I understand completely. But I think he is a little too young to be putting any sort of labels on his actions in his play and the choices he wants to make about what he plays with. A lot of people are labeled this day and age for how they act, talk and dress and they are not even that way. Its so easy to label someone something without knowing for sure. And its even easier to do this with our kids. Maybe your son will grow up to be super sensitive to others. That would not make him gay unless he chose to be. Just let him be a kid without the worry over what he plays with.

Sonia - posted on 01/21/2015

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Thanks a lot!!! Some mothers are starting to understand me! Just thank you so much!

Christine - posted on 01/21/2015

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Angelina Jolie and brad Pitt have a daughter Shiloh that did this, I'd say as another mom to accept him for who he is, try and compromise with the dress thing maybe let him do it when he plays at home but key him know that other people won't understand his sense of style like he does... I may be super off with this answer but Ivery never experienced this for myself.. Good luck.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/20/2015

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Healthy imaginary play. Normal for a 3 YO.

Gena - posted on 01/20/2015

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Sonia,i am interested to know if you have watched any documantry about transgender children? I am asking because i have watched some and one thing they all had in commen is the fascination for mermaids because a mermaid doesnt have a vagina or penis. It doesnt mean he is transgender,and i also dont know if all transgender children are so facinated about mermaids,atleast the ones i watched were.

Ev - posted on 01/20/2015

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Sonia--

I do not have to know a child to know that they are trying to learn about the world around them through play. And that is exactly what he is doing. He may indentify with a lot of things growing up but that does not mean he is going to be that way. Let him explore his world with you guiding him through it in a loving way. My son loved to go put his sister's flats and heels on when he was little. He thought it was fun. He also liked to use her Barbie dolls for his cars and push them around in them. He once suggested that her Barbie marry his GI JOE figure. Today at 18 he is quite a young man who knows who he is and what he wants in life and playing with girl things did not hurt him at all.

Michelle - posted on 01/20/2015

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*************Mod Warning*************
Please stop with the attacks or I will close this thread down.
This is an international site and you will get opinions/advice from all sorts of people and some you may not agree with. There is no need to attack people if they don't post what you want them to then ignore it.
Michelle,
WtCoM Mod.

Jodi - posted on 01/19/2015

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Hey, you are the one who posted asking for help. So clearly you don't know.

It is also a FACT that identifying with the opposite gender is not the same as being gay. That has nothing to do with how well you know your child, that is just simple fact.

Jodi - posted on 01/19/2015

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Dressing in girl clothes and playing with what YOU perceive to be "girl toys" is not a sign of being gay. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a little boy wanting to play with things of BOTH genders.

Ev - posted on 01/19/2015

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Okay, I do not know where you get the idea that a 3 year old is gay. It is completely normal for boys and girls to play with toys that are not gender based. He can not possibly understand what being gay is at his age. I have worked with kids for over 25 years total in different venues from church to preschool, and most of the boys I have worked with have dressed up in girl style outfits in the dress up area or played with dolls of all sorts. This is how kids this age learn about the world around them through pretend play. Boys interacting with a doll gives them a chance to play at being a parent caring for the "baby" just like a girl would pretend to be the "mom". There is nothing wrong with this. If you force him to play with just boy toys, you inhibit his natural curious nature and chance to use his imagination plus learning about the world around him.

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