My 3-year-old is angry at his dad for spending less time with him.

[deleted account] ( 5 moms have responded )

My young son has been acting out for the last 3 weeks. He has been hitting and kicking me, telling me he wants to hurt people, and crying/throwing tantrums much more than usual. Finally, tonight he told me he was angry with his father and cried himself to sleep in my arms. Recently his dad got a new girlfriend and has spent less and less time with him. He has, instead, opted to leave my son with his grandma whenever he has him, so he can spend time with his girlfriend. My son is used to the mother/father balance throughout the week, and I'm so new to this that I don't know what to do. Is there anyone who has been through this that can help? I'm open to all suggestions. I just want to see my sweet, little man back to himself. It's breaking my heart to see him this way.


Louise - posted on 05/14/2011




Let the father know what is going on and hopefully he will do something about it. If he has a new steady girlfriend in his life then she should meet his son and they should not be kept apart. Comfort your son but make sure you pick him up on bad behaviour also because you do not want him lashing out at you or another child that is not the way to manage this. Tell him it is alright to be cross and that he should talk about it rather than keep it all bottled up inside.

JuLeah - posted on 05/14/2011




Tell him you understand. Tell him it is okay to be angry. Then shift his focus to something more positive. People let us down, it is a part of life. Teach him that this has nothing to do with him, it is not about him, and he can be happy regardless of what other might be doing. He can feel his feelings, even express them in a healthy way, then live his life.

Kathleen - posted on 05/14/2011




I fel for you. My ex husband is like this. His now 18 year old daughter wishes she had a different father, which is so sad. You really need to tell him what is being said by your son and what happened. And you may need to talk to the GF too. If she is a good person, she'll understand, as will he.Good luck sweety.

Jodi - posted on 05/14/2011




You need to talk to his dad about it and let him know what your son has said. He needs to spend the time with his son. Seriously, he can see his girlfriend on the other days - they don't need to be joined at the hip. If she is any sort of girlfriend worth having, she will understand.


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[deleted account]

Thank you Jodie, Kathleen, and Louise! I appreciate the feedback from all of you. I spoke to my ex today, and his response was that "he's going to have stress, and he'll get over it." He got angry, and I didn't push it, but I know now that he will at least be thinking about it and will hopefully consider that for the future.

My boyfriend has been a positive male influence in my son's life, and it saddens him to see him this way, so he suggested I seek outside help. That's how I found this site, and I'm glad I did. Thank you all again.

Kathleen, I'm sorry to hear about what is going on in your family. I hope your ex takes your daughter's feelings into consideration and makes some changes.

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