My 3 year old is being called a "molester"

Nicole - posted on 06/12/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

7

0

3

a couple of weeks ago my boyfriend's 4 and a half year old daughter came over (she's with us every other weekend). We have a play room is the basement and let the kids go down and play all the time. One of us is usually down there with them, however, my boyfriend was working that saturday and I just had to throw in a load of laundry. When I returned back downstairs my boyfriends daughters pants where off and my 3 and a half year old son was trying to SMELL her "peaches" they were both laughing like it was funny until I completely freaked out, I then sat them down and told them that was inappropriate and that their private spots were for no one else but themselves. She then went home and told her mom, my boyfriends ex. Who then came to me calling my 3 year old child a molester, I know it was inappropriate but the reason he was smelling it vs anything else is because he clearly doesn't have an understanding of what it actually is, its just different. Kids are very curious. What my question is, is a 3 year old really capable of molestation and I should be dealing with this a lot more seriously or is his ex really being as dramatic as I think she is?

5 Comments

View replies by

Michelle - posted on 06/12/2014

3,555

8

3244

I think the Mother is over reacting. Children are curious about bodies and especially the difference between boys and girls. As long as you have let them know that it's not appropriate then that's all that needs to be done.
She has no right to be calling your son a child molester though. He's only 3 FFS!!!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/12/2014

13,211

21

2014

Good grief. She's turning normal childhood "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" into a drama queen royal event.

Who's to say HER kid didn't instigate it, being the older child?

Chet - posted on 06/12/2014

2,093

0

587

Okay. The dog thing completely explains why your son would have done this. A lot of kids his age would find that sort of thing hilarious, and not understand where to draw the line.

I don't know what advice to offer about the mom. She doesn't sound like she's coping with this very well. I'm sure it's upsetting for her to imagine her child involved in what happened, especially when she wasn't there to gain a sense of the situation and she only has your interpretation to relay on. Honestly though, you handled it very well and her child doesn't sound traumatized. I hope this woman's reaction isn't causing her trauma after the fact.

Nicole - posted on 06/12/2014

7

0

3

It started after playing with the dog, who would sniff his butt which he thought was HILARIOUS! so he would start playing dogs and doing it to others, dogs, people, ect. he would bark and laugh and continue on like it was a joke.. Is what it seemed to come from. Her daughter did tell her which is good yes, but the mother continued then to harass me via text message & email, stating her daughter is "traumatized". She didn't even tell her until days after we had dropped her off because it must have come up in a casual conversation, she was laughing when the incident happened and when I asked her if she knew it was wrong she said no, so I told her it was and she's not allowed to let anyone near her peaches. Then her mother continued calling my son names, including a molester. Which has made me very disturbed considering I would never think of a child in such a manner. Especially when I also think that is not a form of molestation

Chet - posted on 06/12/2014

2,093

0

587

It's hard to say...

A three year old who has been molested will often act out those behaviours on other children. It's not exactly molestation though, or I don't think it is. The child is just copying or playing out what they've experience. At such a young age, they have no way of understanding that it's wrong. After something like this I would however, want to be completely certain that your son hasn't been a victim himself.

That said, kids are curious and interested in bodies, and are still learning about social normals. This doesn't need to be about anything serious.

The fact that the kids thought it was funny makes me think it wasn't anything hugely worrying. I would ask your son where he got the idea about "smelling peaches" though.

Also, the mother should be really happy that her daughter told her what happened. She did the right thing and I hope her mother told her that.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms