Stacey - posted on 06/27/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )
I'm a young,single mother. I am 23 and my son is 3 1/2. Anyway, he goes to daycare three nights a week, and it's the best daycare! He always tells me he LOVES the provider and the other kids. We've had other daycares in the past but it never lasted long because they weren't loving or caring enough and he hated it, as did I. Well he loves going to this daycare and always asks every day if he can go, she's been open 13 years and has many loyal clients. She has a five year old son, Michael, who is a nice enough kid. For the last few weeks, my son has been repeatedly telling me "Micheal hates me"....and it kept escalating to "Michael hits me, won't let me have a turn, won't let me play with the toys, tells me I'm stupid....etc." He even tried telling me Mr.C, the provider's husband, hit him.
Now I am absolutely certain that none of this is true. This is a respectable daycare in a very nice area and all the children have been attending for years, problem free. I can see they all love it and I know my son does too! I was alarmed at first and brought it up several times to the provider. I started worrying that he was being bullied. The provider in this daycare is very hands on and is with the children 95% of the time and she said she'd monitor her son and my son, and started really cracking down on her son pretty bad when my son would tattle. Well now her son won't go anywhere near my son and is upset that his mom seems to be favoring Peyton, and told her he wont play with Peyton because he always gets in trouble (for stuff he didn't do!). Once you ask my son after Michael gets in trouble, he'll admit nothing happened. Today my provider said, that when it wasn't Peyton's turn on the trampoline, he told her "if you don't let me have a turn I'm gonna tell my mommy that you spanked me." He rarely lies about anything else, but when he does he always says "I didn't mean to". I think he is jealous of her son because he has light sabres and tons of legos and everything he could want, while my son and I are living with my mom because my boyfriend left, and a lot of his toys are in storage. He's used to being with me all the time and is probably jealous of Micheal getting time with his mommy. Either way, I am really not sure of how to 'reprimand' a three year old for lying, and in a way, threatening an adult! She told me tonight that if it keeps happening and he keeps making up these stories about physical altercations she won't watch him anymore because it puts her family and job at stake.
Tonight we watched the VeggieTales movie about Larry Boy and the Giant Fib, and I tried to explain to Peyton that Junior got himself in really big unnecessary trouble because he told a lie.The provider and I decided on a plan of when Peyton says something happened, I explain to him that we are going to go talk with her and Michael and see why, and if he's lying he'll have time out and mommy will be upset, or he can tell me what really happened. I am figuring out now, that if I ask him certain questions when he tells me a story I'll get to the bottom of it, but this isn't really solving the problem.
I really love my daycare, I doubt I could find a better one. People always say my son is super smart for his age, he can already read all of his letters, write half of them, and can hold a conversation with just about anyone. I think that it has it's obvious disadvantages. Anyone have any advice? And as far as being concerned about what he's saying being true, my fears are completely at rest, I know he is not being bullied or picked on. I love this daycare and really want to keep him there, and I want my son to stop telling stories!! Thanks for any insight.