My 3 year old sleeps in my bed every night. He has his own big boy bed in the room he shares with his two year old brother. I've tried putting him in his bed, he cries and gets up so I do it again and again and he just ends up waking up his brother. Any suggestions?

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Gayle - posted on 01/31/2009

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We struggle nightly with our 2 year old son getting him to sleep. He tends to get in bed with us at night. We try to fight it, but truth be told, he will not be a little guy forever and will not be sleeping with us when he is 18, so we just take it in tride. One day he will be grown up and won;t want to be around as much.

LeNee Ward - posted on 01/31/2009

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Does he havea legitamate reason? Fear, dark ect... Solve that.

Been there done that. You are doing the right thing. Be consitant!! And also DO NOT talk to him after the first reminder that he sleeps in his bed; just keep putting him back in his bed/room!!

User - posted on 01/31/2009

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They grow up so fast and they don't sleep with you forever, they do eventually grow out of it. My daughter is now 15 and she slept with us until she was 4. Now I can't even get her to lie down in my bed just to talk. Grin and bear it...it does get better.

Stephanie - posted on 01/31/2009

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I had the same problem with my 2 year old daughter. I started putting her to bed first while my son was in another room. At first it was up and down, up and down. I will tell you it took me a few nights but it worked. She still goes to bed first then after she falls asleep I put my son to sleep.

Sarah - posted on 01/31/2009

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Have you tried waiting with him until he's asleep in his bed at the beginning of the nigth?  If/when he gets in your bed, you could take him back to his bed, and wait until he's mostly asleep before you leave.  Maybe you'd have to wait longer in the beginning, but if you're consistent, you should be able to "wean" him of needing your presence to fall/stay asleep.  Maybe it would help if he had a "friend" to watch over him while he sleeps (a stuffed animal or something).  With our kids, the quicker and more consistent we are with putting them back in their beds, the better they do at staying there.

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Leighanne - posted on 05/14/2012

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My little one, is 3 and 3months, and I recently started to train him to sleep in his own room, in his own bed. I also have a daughter who is 21months old and is still sleeping in her cot in my room. Its so difficult for my boy to fall asleep on his own in his bed. He constantly cries and cries, he wakes up 2-3 times at night either crying for me or getting up and standin in front of my bed and then saying: "Mommy come sleep with me, or mommy I wanna sleep with you in your bed". I know its a new change for him, but I also have to adapt to the changes. I feel so guilty sometimes, but he has to sleep on his own, he has to learn and understand that he is a big boy and big brother. I dont get enough sleep with all this pjama drill. When will he ever start to realise that he has to sleep on his own and when will he sleep through?

Hollyboutilier - posted on 02/01/2009

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concistancy, it might be hard for the frist week but it will work, when he gets out of bed dont say anything to him just walk him back to his bed and leave this could go on for 2 hours but it will work, i had the same problem and tryed everything, this is a good method if you stick with it

Margie - posted on 02/01/2009

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My 3 yr old sleeps with us  alot of the time too.  She goes to bed fine in her bed but wakes in the middle of the night and climbs in with us.  Sometimes she will ask to sleep in Papa's bed and we usually let her.  I know it's a security thing and with my husband in the military and ready to deploy again I let her.  I know it won't be forever.



In your case I would make a solid bedtime routine and stick with it.  If he cries, go in afer a bit and calm him.  If you have to keep going increase the waiting time each time.  It may take some practice and some long nights with the 2 kids but it should work.

Karri - posted on 02/01/2009

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Before we moved to the place we live now, our whole family was in one room. When we got here, however, DH and I wanted our DD in her own room again so we could get her used to it before our DS arrived (I was pregnant at the time). What we ended up doing was getting some inexpensive lightweight plastic shelving units and setting them up all around her bed. (They are light enough that if she pulls them over they won't hurt her.)



With the shelving there, she can keep all of her "friends" (soft and lightweight toys, like stuffed animals... so if they fall onto the bed they won't hurt her) all around her for a huge slumber party every night. We rent our apartment, so we couldn't really decorate it much, but we hung a giant butterfly kite in the corner and put a few fun kids posters on the wall. We also started referring to her room as "The Princess Room", and now she loves it!



Basically, we made her room a place she wanted to be. We made going to sleep in her own bed a fun experience for her (nothing's better than a slumber party!) And now, even though we still sometimes have to lay down with her until she falls asleep (sometimes we can just sit with her), and she still comes in with us in the morning, she sleeps in her own room for 6-8 hours every night.



I am not sure if a similar plan would work for your baby, but maybe there is an idea here that could help... Good luck!

Louise - posted on 02/01/2009

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put him hin his bed! leave him there DO NOT Go to him when he cries and he will soon get over it! i know it sounds harsh but this is al that worked with my littl girl! tough love, if need be let your other little one sleep else where for the few nights either your bed etc! i know its sounds harshe but they are reilient kids and will get used to the new routine

User - posted on 01/31/2009

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I agree with Sarah Melendez, both my boys did the same thing. My oldest is 8 and my youngest is 4. My youngest started out by staying in his bed and then he started coming in our room when he went to pre-school. I think it's a comfort thing. Just sit with them and over time when they are almost asleep, make it a habit to leave. They know  you are leaving but are too tired to care. If that doesn't work, they will grow out of it. My oldest hasn't done that since he was 5.

Lynn - posted on 01/31/2009

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My husband and I went through the exact same thing.  Our son would fall asleep in his bed fine but would inevitably wake up and make his way to our room.  We finally decided that he was not going to be around forever and so we just didn't make a big deal of it anymore.  He slept with us until he was around 10. He's 13 now and sleeps just fine on his own like a normal teenage boy :) To help with staying asleep though, I recently bought him a sleep mask (dreamessentials.com).  He LOVES it and he says he gets much better sleep now without waking up during the night.  Take care and enjoy!

Rochelle - posted on 01/31/2009

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My girlfriend had the same problem with her son, what she did is explained her and daddy needed private time but he could pick one night a week to sleep in there bed. she let him pick a special night light for when he gets his private time in his spiecial time. good luck!!!!

Andrea - posted on 01/31/2009

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Unfortunately crying it out may the only way....my daughter is 3 and everynight when it is bed time she begs to sleep in mommy and daddy's bed....but we have a game we play. I always do Rock -A-Baby at night, I cradle her like a baby and swing her around, pretend to drop her to make her laugh and lay her in bed. She knows that it means bed time. If she gets up, then I just send her right back to bed. Establish a routine, something special you only do with him before bedtime, that will make him look forward to it when it is time.

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My three year old use to do that. She sleeps in the same room with her sister, so what I did was I put her bed beside her sisters and how she sleeps in her bed. I also told that big girls dont sleep with mommy and daddy.

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We had the same problem w/ our daughter. After many sleepless nights we put her baby mattress on the floor next to our bed. She slept on that until her 4th birthday. Which was this past Jan. We told her she was a big girl and that big girls sleep in their rooms.  Good luck!

Summer - posted on 01/31/2009

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Oh the age old problem. LOL. My friends daughter slept in her moms room until she was 13 and finally realized her friends didn't do that so she made the choice to stop. Seriously.13 years!! He needs to learn how to fall asleep on his own in his own bed, or else you will have this problem for a LONG time and it could even get worse. The most effective solution is usually something that will require patience and it won't be FUN or instant... you simply need to put him to sleep in his own bed, explain that he needs to stay in bed and sleep there like a big boy, and if he gets out of bed mommy and daddy will put him back in bed. Tuck him in, say goodnight. leave the room. When he gets out of bed the first time you tell him "goodnight, it's time to sleep in your bed" and take him straight back to bed, kiss him, say goodnight and walk out. WHen he does it the next time, there is no communication. You take him straight back to bed and put him in bed and walk out without speaking to him. It will work if you stick to it, and it will be a permanant fix. It will take less time each night, and I would say within a week you should see a big difference... maybe much less than that. 3 year olds are smart and know what they can get away with... and they learn very quickly. As for your son that shares a room with him... maybe you can let him "camp out" in the living room while you go through the change, make it fun. Even try haveing your older son talk to your 3 old about sleeping in his big boy bed like he does... he will learn quick, you just have to be patient and not expect instant results. Be consistant, don't give up to make your life easier for that night, remember you are trying to make a permanant change to every night so you don't have to deal with it anymore, period. It will get easier. :-) good luck!!

Carolyn - posted on 01/31/2009

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My daughter is 3 years old too.  She would go to bed ok but would wake up in the middle of the night to get in with me and then scream when it came time to goto bed.  My mum came up with the ingenious idea of a star chart.  We have a list of things on there like, going to bed at night, not getting into mummies bed, not touching what doesn't belong to her, not waking up her sister.  Each time she does it she gets a sticker which she can put on the star chart.  When she reaches the end of the chart she gets a gold star and then she gets a surprise present.  She gets so excited about getting stickers that she goes to bed every night, in the morning she will come in to me and say, "Mummy I stayed in my bed all night and didn't wake up Bethany", I have had a good nights sleep since - try it, if your son likes rewards etc he will probably like this way too.

User - posted on 01/31/2009

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My daughter slept with us for a while.  then on the floor next to the bed. then back in her own bed. They dont sleep with you forever. Life is short. In join them while they want to be around. One day they will be gone out on their own

Shannon - posted on 01/31/2009

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it takes time...our daughter(19months) would always sleep with us though she has a big girl bed....we started lettin her fall asleep in our bed and then we would move her to her bed....it worked for a few nights then she started comin back in with us...then one of us would move to the couch so she could just sleep with us...it took a few weeks to get her to sleep in her bed without comin in with us...now my husband puts her in her bed and puts her to sleep, i would but i've been takin care of our newborn.....i would just try lettin him fall completely asleep and then move him, keep doin that and he should get the point....i know it can be hard...

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