My 3 year old son will not stop soiling please?!?!

Shell - posted on 04/15/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




Our son is 3 years old and insists on soiling in his pull ups. He will pee in his potty, but only when he wants to and never will poo in it. We've tried everything from taking toys, not letting him go to his grandpa's, to the opposite and giving him his favorites snacks if he would just use the potty like a big boy. Telling him that it's something everyone does hasn't worked either. What is so frustrating is he got sick a few weeks ago, vomiting, and I told him if he felt like he was going to throw up to try to make it to the toilet. He did that just fine. He got up and vomited in the toilet at least 3 times. Telling him the same thing for the potty does not work. I can ask him if he needs to go 20 times a day and he either has already on himself or he doesn't need to and throws a fit. Occasionally he has peed in his potty but not often. Recently, he has started actually pulling the pullup to the side and actually pooping in his pants/shorts! Nothing in any book or that I have read online has worked. Even tried the running around naked thing I read about. Supposedly it works in 3 days. It did not for him. I'm at the end of my rope. He wants to go to school next year but doesn't understand he can't unless he uses the potty because our schools do not allow them to start unless they are potty trained.


Holly - posted on 04/16/2013




oh wow... this is NORMAL. poop is a more difficult thing to control for a child. you just need to be on top of it. as soon as you see the child looking like he may try to make a poop (the go hiding or squatting, or looking mischievous) take him immediately to the toilet. My oldest daughter peed in the toilet since she had just turned 2, but was well into 3yo when she pooped in the potty... taking toys and punishing him, is NOT going to help ANYTHING.


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Dove - posted on 04/16/2013




He's normal and you have both turned this into a power struggle. Let him choose between using pull ups, soiling himself, or using the potty, but let him know if he soils himself... he cleans it up. That isn't a punishment. Just making him be held accountable for his own messes/mistakes and is a normal part of everyone's life. I find the less I get involved in my children's bodily functions... the better for all of us. He WILL do the potty thing when he is ready. I promise (unless he has other mental or physical delays not mentioned).

He should be capable of understanding that he has to use the toilet in order to start school and if he doesn't.... he either isn't ready to use the toilet, isn't ready to start school, or both.

Faye - posted on 04/16/2013




Have him clean up the mess!

Get rid of the Pull Ups! There is nothing like telling a kid, "you are big kid now BUT let's put this diaper on you JUST in case!"

Watch him to see if he is always pooping 30 minutes after a meal or 10 minutes after he gets up for the day. Whatever his trigger is, watch for it and insist he be on the potty at that time. Poop does take longer that pee.

The one thing a friend of mine told me about her rehab (after a surgical accident which left her paralyzed from the waist down) was that she was to choose what time of day she was going to poop so her body would keep doing so on a regular basis.

Take him to the store and allow him to choose 3 packages of undies in whatever cartoon he wants and 1 package in whatever dad wears (plain white or boxer).

Have him sit backwards on the toilet, maybe he fears falling in.

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