my 3year old wont listen and plays up whenever were out

Charmaine - posted on 04/12/2015 ( 16 moms have responded )

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My 3 year old daughter is bright inteligent and very very aactive!! She wont listen to anything i say though she misbehaves infront of people to show me up. She give me right attidue and i feel like im failing. I always give in when she wants something because the noise of winge is just too much.. i just dont know what to do my youngest is 1 and picking up on this to. help

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Ev - posted on 04/12/2015

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Charmaine--
When I became a mom for the first time i did not know all of it either and as the mother of two adult children I still do not know it all. What I do know is that I taught them that the world we live in has rules and that if they follow the rules things are not so bad its when we do not follow the rules that we have to learn from mistakes.
When my ex husband and I first split up, I had to make some rather quick choices and some of them were not the best but its what I had at the time.
When my kids got step moms and step siblings, I could not even touch that and had to tell them that though I wanted to go over there and set things straight.

A toddler and three year old are not easy by any means to raise but if you are loving and set boundaries and keep them then it will work out.

Michelle - posted on 04/12/2015

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Charmaine: Ignore "cats" it's just a troll that has been around for a couple of weeks and is very nasty. It's a bored child so don't take any notice of what it posts.

In regards to your OP, I agree with the other ladies. You need to stick to it when you say "No". Giving in (even occasionally) teaches your child that all she has to do is give attitude or whine until she gets what she wants.
I have also warned my children that if they didn't behave we would go back home. Guess what, I left a most of my groceries and went home because they kept it up. You have to follow through with whatever you say and they will soon learn you are more stubborn than them.

Ev - posted on 04/12/2015

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You are going to get a lot of answers here that you won't like and some you will. But I am not going to play it down as for giving in when she cries or whines and you do not want to hear it and give in to her whims. That is where she learns that if she does this she will get her way. If you do not start being consistent with telling her no and meaning it then she won't learn. As far as teaching her about strangers etc. that is good as a lot of parents will do that. I never said you were a bad parent or did not have a clue but you did say in two posts the OP and a later one that you give in when she wants something because the noise of whining is too much. If you do not make her learn that its not going to get her where she wants to go with things, she will walk all over you when she grows up.

Ev - posted on 04/12/2015

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Children are going to need to have those days when they do not get their way and are happy all the time. Its a part of life. You were not always happy when you grew up. There were times you were upset. If you lead your child to think the world is a happy place all the time, then she is going to grow up and have a larger disappointment then rather than now with a few select times in her life when those disappontments are not so large. You need to be her parent, not her best friend. You have to set those boundaries for her now and the other one too. If you give in even most times, they will learn to walk over you later on when they do not get their way and that is no way to raise children. This is going to lead them to think the world owes them anything that they want when they want it and that is not how the world works and I think you know that. I have two kids who are adults now. They did not always get their way on everything growing up and they knew that when I said no there was a reason for it and most times I had a reason for it. Even when they were little. Its not fair to them if you give in so you do not have to hear them cry or whine about things. It is part of life.

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Charmaine - posted on 04/12/2015

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Thank you i know its right. And i will stop giving in i dont want my children to walk over me and i am very loving to them both. Thanks for both of your advice.

Charmaine - posted on 04/12/2015

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I dont teach her the world is a happy place i do make her aware its not like that about strangers ect. How i wouldnt want her to run away from me when were out as there are some bad people out there that are not very nice. Your advice is correct and i will try not to give in.

Kinda feel like i wish i never used this site ive been insulted by cats and feel as though ive come across like im a parent without a clue. When really i do the best i can.. i just wanted advice on the not listening to anything and playing up whenever people come round. I just think i should of explained better. Never mind. Thank you for your advice

Charmaine - posted on 04/12/2015

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It is to CATS as she/he has just insulted my children!!

I thought u advice was right but i didnt explain my day to day routine i left it short and sweet. I dont always give in but most the time i do.. i just feel it makes her happier as i dont like seeing her upset

Charmaine - posted on 04/12/2015

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I think you seriously need help love!! If its a chat site you want look else where this is for advice!! Do u actually have kids? And my kids are far from ugly thank you very much.. no kids are ugly there all cute an different!! Just goes to show what ugly person u must be.. stop commenting ok dont need your perfectic advice thank you!!

Ev - posted on 04/12/2015

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There is your problem. You give her what she wants when she wants it so that when you do not she whines for it. You can not expect a child to listen to you when you do not set boundaries and rules with consequences. You have to be consistent and kids will cry, whine and have fits about it until they learn that you are the parent and they are the kids. If you do not start now, both kids will walk all over you.

Charmaine - posted on 04/12/2015

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All i wanted was some advice on how to get my 3year old to listen.. your comment was quiet rude.. i feel insulted.

Not everyone is like what u have been through!

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